


for the things you tame

by Saasan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bodyguard, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Keith is a Bit Not Good, M/M, Mafia AU, Mildly Dubious Consent, Slow Burn, This was supposed to be a drabble, Walmart exists in all multiverses, Walmart is its own tag wtf guys, but copyright is a thing, or at least not fast burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-18 02:17:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14202900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saasan/pseuds/Saasan
Summary: Shiro's stint as an undercover cop appears to be at a swift end after he is caught by the crime syndicate he was supposed to be investigating.  Mere moments before he is to be executed, Shiro is saved by the Don's nephew and is given an interesting offer...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know pretty much nothing about the Mafia or yazuka outside of manga and movies. I'm doing a sort of combination of American mafia plus watered-down yakuza. Have y'all seen Big Hero 6? It takes place in "San FranTokyo" and that's how I'm imaging this--a fusion city of America and Japan. 
> 
> I'm calling Zarkon the Don instead of the Boss because reasons.
> 
> WARNING: This will be a lot darker than SpacePanda versus the Gorgeous Guy! Probably will have violence, and *maybe* a hint of dubcon, but that's it.

__

_"To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."_

_\--The Little Prince_

 

** Day 1 **

This was probably the day he died, Shiro reflected. If he was lucky. If he was unlucky, he would die sometime in the next week after several more days of torture. Sure, he could draw it out—feed the Don's goons some bad information, stall for time. The force might— _might_ —negotiate a deal for his release. If they were smart, they'd wash their hands of him. He wasn't worth it; just a low level cop who got caught undercover. He'd fought for time for his partner, Matt, to get out, and that was worth it. He could die silent and with his honor: no regrets.

 

He knelt calmly, bleeding slowly from several open cuts where the thick strap had whipped hard enough to draw blood. If he'd expected to live out the day, it would have bothered him that he was still wearing a suit—difficult to get the blood out, and painful to remove the cloth from the wounds. His face was swollen and his limbs bruised from multiple punches he'd received earlier that day. Every part of him hurt, and his wrists were bound tightly behind his back. Someone might have asked him a question, but he was gagged anyway and starting to black out.

 

But he recognized the voice, didn't he? He tried to focus. That one, just now, was the Don's son. Lotor? But he was talking to... Kay. Shit.

 

Kay was standing next to him now. He had a knife and he used the tip to force Shiro's chin up. Kay's lips curled in a dark smile.

 

“Can I keep him?” he asked. This to Lotor.

 

Shiro couldn't hear what Lotor said, but he definitely caught Kay's response: “He won't turn me down this time.”

 

He laughed unkindly, and Shiro blacked out.

 

~*~*~

 

Shiro was vaguely aware that he was in a different room. He was being stripped, or whipped again? His cuts hurt at any rate, but whether that was coincidence or due to them being aggravated, he couldn't tell. He was cold. No—something cold was touching him. He was being cleaned?

 

“So help me if he doesn't make it, you'll be whipped next,” he heard a voice growl. “I didn't cash in a favor to have him die immediately.”

 

Kay. It was Kay.

 

Shiro had met Kay during the early stage of his investigation. He'd been working as a bouncer at the Quintessence—a high level host bar owned by the Galra syndicate—when Kay had come in. He'd seen Shiro and requested him.

 

_“I'm sorry, Sir,” Shiro said. “I'm not a host.”_

_“Do you work here?” Kay said, stirring his drink and looking extremely bored._

_“Yes, Sir.”_

_“And do you know who owns the Quintessence?” he continued._

_“...yes, Sir.”_

_“And then, if you know who I am, you know that I own this club, and by extension I own you. Now sit,” he ordered, pointing to the other end of his private couch._

 

And Shiro had sat. Not just that night, but every night that Kay came in. He wasn’t there every night, but there was never a week that he didn’t come in at least once (usually two or three times). It was supposed to be a big “get” for Shiro that he had an established connection with the Don's nephew, but it hadn't yielded any leads. Kay didn't talk. He had friends with him—or more accurately, was accompanied by other people—but he didn't speak to them, either. Kay was simply quiet. Shiro wasn't sure why exactly Kay always asked for him, but he felt that perhaps Kay just wanted to have someone in the VIP lounge that wasn't trying to _get_ something from him. To other people he probably came off as cold. To Shiro, Kay seemed lonely.

 

The night before everything went to shit, Kay had come by the Quintessence and, as usual, he requested Shiro and made him sit by him. They'd exchanged their customary few sentences. When Kay rose to leave, he leaned over to Shiro, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered “You're fired.”

 

He should have known then. He really, _really_ should have. But Matt was getting fantastic intel and the force thought that in two more days, maybe three, they'd have all the information they needed.

 

Shiro didn't go in to work, but he did wait in the alley. Back up, supposedly. But then things got hazy. He knew they'd been ambushed. He knew he fought. He knew Matt got away. He had no idea how many hours he'd been in the back of a van, no idea how many hours he'd spent on a concrete floor.

 

Now he was in a room, somewhere, cold and in pain, with Kay's voice harsh and commanding.

 

And that was Day 1.

 

 

** Day 4 **

The first time Shiro was fully cognitive again was on Day 4. He was bandaged, medicated, and handcuffed by one wrist to a bed. A bit unnecessary, by his view. He would sooner die than try to get up. Succinctly put: he felt like shit. Focus, Shiro.

 

It was not a hospital room, but it was close. No machines monitoring his vitals but he did have IVs in his arms and the room had a decidedly clinical feel. Still with the syndicate, no doubt, as evidenced by the handcuff. Overall, it was far nicer and more sterile environment than he’d expected. There was even a window. Not that he could see out of it, lying on his back, but still.

 

He must have dozed off again because he was suddenly roused by Kay’s voice.

 

“They told me you woke up,” he said. He sounded unimpressed.

 

“Sorry?” Shiro slurred. Wake up already. Focus.

 

Kay snorted. He pulled up a chair and sat down facing Shiro, but looked entirely uninterested. He played with his phone without looking up.

 

There were a lot of questions he could (should?) be asking, but right now his head was pounding and Kay was ignoring him. Might as well rest while he could.

 

When he woke up again the shadows on the floor had shifted noticeably. How many hours had it been? Kay was still there, still on his phone.

 

“Didn’t know the Galra had a hospital,” he said, attempting to sit up a little. Nope.

 

Kay snorted again. “Not a hospital, but you knew that. This is a recovery room in one of our houses. You don’t rank high enough for a hospital.”

 

Shiro nodded. “Fair enough.” _But I apparently rank high enough for you._ “Are you babysitting for someone else or am I yours?”

 

Kay smirked. “I don’t babysit.”

 

“So right now you’re…hanging out?” Shiro guessed, smiling faintly.

 

Kay might have smiled, but it was hard to tell from the angle. “Guarding my investment.”

 

 _“Can I keep him?” “I didn’t cash in a favor to have him die immediately.” “He won’t turn me down this time.”_ What had Shiro ever turned down? The initial order to sit by Kay? Probably just part of an act in front of Lotor. Or perhaps not? He was apparently an investment.

 

“What do you want from me?” Shiro asked, more curious than alarmed. “I don’t think I’m worth a favor.”

 

Kay sat up a little and looked at him, thoughtfully. “So you did hear that much. If you’d been awake, you’d have your answer.”

 

Shiro raised an eyebrow as if to say Obviously I was not awake, so are you going to give me an answer?

 

“I’m going to fuck you,” Kay said in a calm, even voice. He was testing him, Shiro realized.

 

“I don’t recall having turned down that offer,” Shiro replied.

 

At that Kay actually laughed.   “I’ll make it again sometime. For now, just heal.” He went back to his phone.

 

That was fine with Shiro. He already felt exhausted. But before drifting off, he had one more important question: “Who are you guarding me from?”

 

Kay laughed again, but this time he sounded grim. “Everyone. You’re not exactly popular,” he added dryly.

 

Shiro nodded, and fell asleep.

 

 

** Day 5 **

Kay was gone when Shiro woke up again. That made sense. The nephew of the Don had better things to do than sit bedside, and he was probably used to a more comfortable place to sleep. Judging from the light coming in the window, it was early morning. He called out to see if anyone was in the hall and a guard came in and allowed him to use a bathroom. When he turned, the sheets were clean and he was handcuffed again.

 

To Shiro’s surprise, Kay arrived about 20 minutes later, this time with food. One of his IVs must have been for nutrients because he hadn’t felt hungry. Until now. His stomach actually growled before either he or Kay could say anything. Kay smiled.

 

He pressed the button to raise up the bed and let Shiro sit up and then peeled an orange, alternating giving Shiro sections and eating his own.

 

“Did I interrupt your breakfast?” Shiro asked between mouthfuls.

 

Kay nodded. He didn’t seem bothered and handed Shiro a piece of toast. Once they’d finished splitting breakfast, Kay asked if Shiro was still hungry and Shiro said he shouldn’t push it until he knew his stomach could handle the food.

 

Shiro was feeling quite a bit better this morning. He should probably think either about escaping or somehow getting a message to Matt or the rest of the force. Might as well be blatant—Kay was neither stupid nor coy.

 

“Is anyone looking for me?” he asked.

 

Kay looked up from his phone, both puzzled and irritated. “Do you seriously not understand? I own you. Nothing else matters.”

 

Well then. “Not what I asked,” Shiro replied, keeping his tone calm. The kid had a temper.

 

Kay mulled that over and then shrugged. “I doubt it,” he said.

 

“Good.”

 

At that Kay looked surprised. “Why is that good?” he said, suspicion clear in his voice.

 

“Because that would be a fruitless effort and I’d rather my partner not get hurt,” Shiro said mildly.

 

Kay frowned and crossed his arms, settling back in his chair and studying Shiro. Shiro studied him right back. He knew from the case files that Kay was not yet 20, but he was already a skilled killer. As a half-breed (to the syndicate’s eyes) and a bastard, he’d had to fight hard to win the respect of the Galra, even though he was the Don’s nephew. To the outside world, he was heartless and dangerous. To Shiro, he was…well, he was still dangerous. But Shiro saw a young man who was not fully certain of himself, a man full of anger and who had few allies. He’d fought hard for everything he had. And one thing he had, apparently, was Shiro. The syndicate had recently started human trafficking. Perhaps Kay thought Shiro was a slave. Shiro almost chuckled. He might be a prisoner but he was no man’s slave.

 

“The day after I fired you,” Kay said, “did you come back because you were ordered to or because of your partner? The other plant—Matt, I think his name is.”

 

“I was ordered to stay away, actually,” Shiro said ruefully, “or at least it was strongly suggested that I stay further back. I was there for Matt. And it was worth it,” he added.

 

Kay smiled, but it was a private smile, like he had just affirmed something with himself. “In answer to your previous question—what I want from you is your loyalty. I want you to be my bodyguard.”

 

Well, that wasn’t what he’d expected. “You know I was part of an undercover operation to take down the Galra syndicate, right? And you do see that I failed spectacularly with that and now I’m bruised and handcuffed, right? Not exactly your best candidate.”

 

“I saved your life,” Kay replied. “You’re not the kind of man that lets debts go unpaid.”

 

Fuck. The kid had him there.

 

“So,” he said slowly, “should I start calling you boss?”

 

Kay made an amused sound and shook his head as he pulled out his phone. “You can just call me sir.”

 

“Yes, Sir,” Shiro said crisply, but there was a hint of a teasing in it and Kay smirked. “Does this mean your earlier offer to fuck is off the table?”

 

At that Kay laughed again. “Sorry to say that’s not included in the employee benefits. And for the record, off or on the table? Either would be fine.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind, Sir,” Shiro smiled. He liked this kid. Fuck, that was probably a bad thing. Let the Stockholm Syndrome begin, he thought to himself wryly. At least he wouldn’t be miserable.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shiro makes some progress with Kay and Kay fails to understand Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for this story: Keith is a bit bad. But like, not super bad? Shiro is a saint because that is canon in every reality.

 

_“Who are you?” asked the little prince, and added, “You are very pretty to look at.”_

_“I am a fox,” the fox said._

_“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”_

_“I cannot play with you,” the fox said. “I am not tamed.”_

_\-- The Little Prince_

 

 

** Day 7 **

They didn’t talk much after that. A man that Shiro suspected did not have a medical degree (if he didn’t rank a hospital it was no surprise he didn’t rank a doctor) came by several times to check his progress and change his bandages. His bill of health was better than expected—no broken bones (aside from cracked ribs) and no permanent damage other than a range of nasty scars. Even the cuts weren’t very deep. If Shiro had to guess, he’d say he was very much a pawn during the entire scenario and that his wounds were meant to _look_ bad more than anything else. Perhaps Lotor or one of the other Galra higher ups had taken notice of Kay’s mild interest in him…? Kay had referred to it as cashing in a favor, after all. Perhaps someone had wanted him to waste it.

 

Going along with the idea of being a pawn, Shiro realized he was being kept under “recovery conditions” for longer than was necessary. In fact, he was almost certain the days he’d spent unconscious were due to medication, not injury. More importantly: he was bored.

 

“Do employee benefits cover a TV?” he'd asked Kay on Day 6. It seemed they did. He spent Day 6 subtly determining which shows most annoyed his new boss. All of them, apparently, or possibly none of them. Kay sat in his usual chair, looking vaguely irritated at his phone all day without so much as glancing at the screen.

 

Now at Day 7, Shiro was getting antsy. If Kay wasn't going to talk to him or even acknowledge his environment, he'd prefer to be ignored somewhere he was allowed to move about.

 

“Hey Boss, who're you hiding from?” he asked.

 

Kay looked up from his phone with a frown. “And why exactly do you think I'm hiding?”

 

“Well Sir, I'm recovered enough that this,” Shiro gestured vaguely at the room with his free hand, “isn't necessary. You said you're guarding your investment. You could invest in me anywhere you wanted, and since _I_ don't need this room, I can only assume you do. Sir,” he added.

 

“Your fellow coppers have made things annoying for the syndicate. The fewer of my relatives I need to talk to right now, the better,” Kay said with a shrug. “I'm not important enough to trust with anything, but I do make an amazing punching bag.”

 

Shiro wondered if Kay meant that literally.

 

“Cheer up, Sir. I'm not even important enough to be trusted with my own hands,” Shiro said, rattling his handcuff, “but I'm afraid I do make a far better punching bag than you.”

 

Kay smiled faintly. “More of you to hit I suppose.”

 

“Precisely, Sir. Impossible to miss,” Shiro smiled.

 

Kay pressed his hand to his face. “For fuck's sake. Is it possible for you to say 'Sir' without sounding like a butler from a C grade movie?”

 

“I doubt it, Sir,” Shiro smiled again.

 

“Fuck it. If there are other people around, sound like you mean it. I don't give a shit if it's just me. 'Kay' will be fine. And that cuff is for appearances in case the higher ups come looking around. Suck it up,” Kay said with a shrug, as if the matter wasn't _entirely in his own damn hands,_ but whatever. Trading Sir for Kay was good enough.

 

And that was the progress of Day 7.

 

 

** Day 8 **

Kay didn't come to visit on Day 8. Shiro wasn't sure if he missed him or if he was just missed having company.   Either way he was bored.

 

And maybe a little bit lonely.

 

 

** Day 9 **

Shiro concluded it was a good sign when a tailor came to fit him on Day 9. A tailor meant clothes, and clothes meant going places, or at least not being in a hospital gown which was distinctly appealing. How did the mafia have hospital gowns but not hospitals? Second rate syndicate, that's for sure. And that is precisely what Shiro told Kay when he walked in that afternoon.

 

Kay looked both exasperated and amused but he simply shook his head as he sat down in his customary chair.

 

“I'd have thought the Don's nephew ranked a better chair than that, too,” Shiro noted. He chuckled when Kay flipped him off without looking up.

 

“What are you even doing on your phone?” he asked.

 

“Crashing the stock market. Stealing babies. Typical villain stuff,” Kay said.

 

“Old school villain, maybe. Shouldn't your generation be, I don't know, hacking something?” Shiro teased.

 

Kay snickered. “Maybe I'm hacking the stock market.”

 

“And the babies?”

 

“Definitely the hacking babies. Without question.”

 

Shiro laughed and mentally kicked himself for liking his new boss this much. He was abrasive and the nephew of the Don and had at least six kills under his belt, and he was also a bit adorable and maybe there was something intensely rewarding in making the little punk smile. Fuck. Also, morally, Shiro was pretty sure he should be working out a way to escape and get back to the Good Guys, or maybe learn useful information for sabotage or something. However, on a practical level, Shiro was pretty sure he was going to die in the next few months taking a bullet for his boss and if he liked the man he died for, so much the better.

 

“What's up with your entourage? The people you used to bring to the club,” Shiro clarified. “Are they still around somewhere, lonely and waiting for Kay to show them a good time?”

 

“Clients and potential clients and their relatives,” Kay corrected him. “First command as your boss: shoot me if I ever have to call people like that my _friends_.”

 

“Please don't tell me your job is to entertain the Don's guests. Please tell me I don't have to guard your skinny ass at every nightclub in town,” Shiro begged.

 

“Okay, I'll let it be a pleasant surprise,” Kay said. “But yes, something like that. I got demoted.”

 

“Because of the Quintessence debacle?” Shiro asked. That didn't seem likely.

 

“Nope,” Kay said, and something about his tone of voice meant the subject was closed.

 

Shiro wasn’t sure if it would be wise to just shut up at this point, but he was _really_ bored, and when one’s life expectancy can be safely measured in months, one throws a bit of caution to the wind.

 

“When do I get to wear the suit? Will it be a fancy occasion?” he tried. “Because as much as I am looking forward to being pleasantly surprised by your line of work, isn’t it a problem to have a former cop out clubbing with you?”

 

To Shiro’s surprise, Kay actually burst out laughing. “Holy shit, have you ever _been_ to a club? A suit?! You already reek of narc. Tell me, did you volunteer for the host club bouncer gig or did they look through their files and say ‘Which one of our boys looks the most like a goody-two shoes?’ Because _no_. No you are not wearing a suit to go clubbing.”

 

“As it turns out, I _was_ the most goody-two shoes, thank you, and I kept my nose very clean at police academy. I got full marks for always looking both ways before crossing the street. I also would’ve had top scores for marksmanship but it turns out you lose points for stopping to apologize between shots.”

 

Christ, he loved making that kid laugh. He looked like he didn’t get to very often. Stop it, Shiro. He’s a high-ranking criminal in the city’s largest syndicate not a puppy. He’d be a cute puppy, though. STOP IT SHIRO.

 

Kay had to wipe his eyes he was laughing so hard. “No, the suit is for banquets. Suits plural, I should say. You’re getting more than one. Plenty of regular clothes, too. I had to guess your size, but I’m pretty confident. Can’t have your ass hanging out of that gown all around town. You’re going to embarrass me enough as is.”

 

“Is that what you were doing yesterday?” Shiro asked.

 

Kay arched an eyebrow. “Were you worried I was a punching bag?”

 

Yes, actually. “I’d hate to miss the opportunity to take a punch for you. I’m very good at it.”

 

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. You’re looking lovely,” Kay rolled his eyes. “Not going to be seen in public with you right now.” He held up his phone and took a picture before handing it to Shiro.

 

It was pretty grim. His face was swollen and the bruises were turning a sickly yellow-green (which was actually a good sign, but still). There was also the large bandage covering his nose. Gingerly, he tugged it off and took a new picture to look at the wound. A bit longer than he’d thought, but it was healing well.

 

“Does this thing have a filter or something?” Shiro said, turning the phone in his hands. “This just looks like me on a normal day.”

 

Kay chuckled and took back his phone. “You really are a punching bag.”

 

“If I’d realized I was looking this pretty, I would’ve hit on you. I’ll have to try again later,” Shiro said with a sigh.

 

Kay looked uncomfortable, which was surprising. They’d exchanged banter about that before. Had something happened yesterday?

 

“Did I say something wrong, Boss?” he asked.

 

Kay frowned and thought through something silently. Having apparently made a decision, he stood up, placed his phone on his chair, and then crawled onto Shiro’s bed and straddled his hips. He stared down at Shiro.

 

“Why didn’t you ever act like a host?” he said, settling down and placing his hands on Shiro’s sides. He kneaded a little at Shiro’s flesh which made him bite back a grimace. Still a lot of bruises there. He didn’t complain, though—Kay knew exactly what he was doing. “I told you I owned you, and it turns out you _can_ flirt.”

 

“I did what you asked, Kay. I sat down. If you wanted more, you should have asked,” Shiro said softly. “And you know why I didn’t flirt with you.”

 

“No I don’t,” Kay said, frowning again. “I own you. I ordered you to be a host. You were an undercover cop with the perfect opening and you just sat there.”

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Kay, but you didn’t want me to do more, did you? Why did you even ask me to sit by you? You never said more than a sentence or two at a time to me.”

 

“That's why,” Kay said, rolling his eyes. “You didn't care if I didn't talk, and having a host by me served as a buffer. And, well, on the off chance you _did_ talk, I’d know more of what your lot was planning. You not talking was fine; I just don’t understand it.”

 

“Mm. Sorry I turned out to be such a chatterbox.”

 

“I don't mind. You're easy to talk to,” Kay said with a shrug. He seemed lost in thought. In fact, he was acting so damn casual Shiro had no idea why he’d crawled up on him in the first place. His hands, however, had wandered upwards and he tweaked Shiro’s nipples over the hospital gown. He suppressed making any noise. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like responding would be the wrong choice.

 

Kay glanced down at him again. “Do you always hit on your bosses?”

 

“Well, my boss on the force was a woman and could kick my ass ten ways to Tuesday, so no,” Shiro grinned. He didn’t envy the fool who tried to hit on his frankly stunning boss ( _former_ boss—right, right). Allura was beautiful enough that Shiro would have been hard pressed to turn her down, sexuality be damned.

 

Kay smiled faintly. “And you don’t think I can kick your ass?”

 

“I think you can kill me,” Shiro said, “but I also don’t think you will. And, I think you do want me to hit on you now.”

 

Kay touched his palm to Shiro’s cheek, almost but not quite gentle. “You’re a very obedient employee, aren’t you?”

 

“Sometimes. And sometimes I go to work even after I’ve been fired to save my idiot partner I’ve been ordered to stay away from,” Shiro said.

 

Kay studied Shiro for a minute longer, like he wasn’t sure what to make of him. _Yes you do. You just don’t like what you see. You don’t like that you don’t know how to make me obey you because the minute I want to, I’ll do whatever I feel is right and you don’t know where my lines are._

 

Kay sighed and got off the bed (Shiro was only slightly disappointed). “I was wrong. You can’t flirt after all,” he said.

 

_That’s wrong, too. You want me to hit on you but you want me to be immune when you hit on me. You want me to be all talk and no game because you don’t want to be in danger of me acting on it and I’m worried that I might know why._

 

“Sorry, Boss,” Shiro said. “Maybe when I’m not pretty with bruises and cutting such a dashing figure in a gown I’ll try again.”

 

Kay spared him another glance and something like a smile before going back to his phone.

 

Shiro tried not to sigh. _If you want to know me, it’s pretty obvious. I won’t be swayed by either pain or pleasure. Just like you, I have my own things that drive me, and just like you, I won’t be broken._

 

Day 9 was the last day Shiro spent in the recovery room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a hazy idea where the rest of this going. Good work, Author-san. 
> 
> (but your guess is as good as mine on number of chapters)
> 
> For useless posts and news about Fics, follow my tumblr: decidedlysarah.tumblr.com
> 
> EDIT: Oops I called Kay Keith at one point. NOW YOU'LL KNOW THE BIG SECRET lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is an awkward but satisfying blow job and then some unpleasantness. Shiro learns a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small warning: blow job is sorta dub-con? 
> 
> Also, if you haven't, please read The Little Prince so we can all cry together.

 

_“I am looking for friends. What does that mean—‘tame’?”_

_“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”_

 

 

** Day 27 **

Shiro had learned several things during his time as a bodyguard for a high-ranking member of the Galra Syndicate. In no particular order, those things were as follows:

 

 **1) He was a very good bodyguard.** While being a former cop did cause others to eye him with suspicion, Shiro found the skills he’d learned to be of tremendous use. He already knew most of the city’s crime lords by look and name and he was versed in the slang and jargon that the syndicate used. His combat training was, of course, perfectly applicable as was his knowledge of how to scan a room for threats and potential exits.

 

 **2) No one trusted him.** That came as no surprise and was, if anything, a little funny. There was precious little he overheard that would have helped the precinct in any way, so the lengths some of the Galra went to avoid him or talk around him was mostly amusing. The only limitation he found frustrating was that he had no internet access. Even his phone just a disposable flip phone. A walkie-talkie, really, as he told Kay (who ignored the remark).

 

 **3) He could escape easily if he wanted to.** He’d guarded Kay a number of social events and these provided more than ample cover for him to slip outside and hail the nearest taxi. It wasn’t something he was planning to make use of, but it was definitely something he took note of for later (just in case).

 

 **4) Kay did not need a bodyguard.** After Shiro left the recovery room, he discovered that part of Kay’s daily routine was extensive physical and combat training, and he was _good_ at it. Shiro quickly found it was the favorite part of the day for both Kay and himself. They trained and sparred together and went to various masters a few days a week where Kay trained further. If Shiro hadn’t had almost 8 years more training than Kay did, he wouldn’t have stood much of a chance. As it was, they worked well together and Shiro was looking forward to when his injuries were fully healed and he could engage in more vigorous training.

 

 **5) Kay did kind of need a bodyguard.** Kay could handle himself in a fight, but Kay could not handle a drink. Or a night out. Or other people in general. Kay escorted a number of guests (and younger Galra) almost every night to the city hotspots and more or less glowered at them all. Shiro could see why Kay needed a buffer—he had neither knowledge of nor the inclination to be a good host. Frankly, he was uniquely ill-suited to the task of entertaining guests and Shiro wondered if the syndicate’s decision makers had factored that in when they “demoted” Kay because although this was clearly an apt punishment for Kay, there was probably considerable damage being done to their reputation in terms of hospitality. Granted, none of the guests Kay carted around were of significant standing, but there is still something to be said for keeping all members of an organization happy. Perhaps he was thinking about it too hard. All of Kay’s guests were allowed free access to all the alcohol they could handle and that kept the majority of them plenty happy. By the end of the evening, Shiro had usually become a babysitter, herding the drunkards back to their rides and taxis. Kay inevitably fell asleep on the ride home. Most nights Shiro made him lie on his lap and carried him to bed. He knew Kay hated drinking but hated being cognitive for the entire evening even more, and yet Kay had never touched more than a glass while at the Quintessence. He wondered if Kay drank now because he trusted Shiro to get him home.

 

 **6) The Galra did not like Kay.** It was clear from body language if nothing else that the rest of the syndicate viewed Kay with distaste. There was good deal of brown-nosing that went on as they fought for favor from the Don and most either saw Kay as an upstart rival or an unworthy opponent. Kay, for his part, ignored all of them—with the exception of the Don’s council. The only member of the council that treated Kay with anything resembling respect was the Don’s son, Lotor, who acknowledged Kay’s combat skill as a valuable asset. Lotor was also the only member of the council to acknowledge Shiro’s existence, having once given him a look over that plainly stated “You are laughably deficient in many ways but you do have a few uses” which was, frankly, the biggest compliment Shiro imagined the man capable of giving.

 

 **7) Kay had some major issues with sex.** Major. Issues. Day 27 showcased this perfectly.

 

Shiro was never allowed into any meeting (even ones of only minor importance), so he did not know precisely what it was that ticked Kay off that day, but he came out of the meeting royally pissed. Shiro gathered from the other members as they streamed out of the door that snide remarks had been made about Kay’s parentage and sexual promiscuity. On the ride back to Kay’s house (or rather, one of the Galra complexes that Kay lived at), he was silent, staring out the window with his jaw clenched.

 

Shiro opted to give him his space. They got along well and Shiro could read Kay like a book—most of the time. He was extremely surprised when Kay’s hand crept over his lap and settled over his groin. Neither he nor Kay commented on it.

 

Gradually, Kay began to stroke and massage him, still without looking. Shiro had been able to pass Kay’s previous “tests” in part because he knew what Kay wanted and in part because there hadn’t been much involved. Right now? Right now Shiro was going to get a hard-on and that was all there was to it. And get a hard-on he did. He was able to keep quiet, but eventually he did have to shift his hips to relieve the pressure. That prompted Kay to turn to look at him.

 

Shiro tried to read what Kay wanted by his expression but the only thing he could pick up was the widening of his pupils and the quickening of his breath. Kay _wanted_ him, and Shiro had no clue what he was supposed to do about it.

 

(Shiro knew exactly what he _wanted_ to do about it—he’d had more than one fantasy about his boss and those perfect lips, that flawless body, those impossible eyes, but wanting and acting were very different things.)

 

Maintaining eye contact, Kay deftly undid Shiro’s pants with one hand, slowly pulled down the zipper, and slipped into his boxer briefs to free his erection. It was the single most erotic thing that had ever happened to him and Shiro had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to keep from groaning. Or whimpering. Or begging.

 

Kay undid both of their seat belts and slid to his knees, parting Shiro’s legs and settling between them. Shiro was extremely grateful they happened to be in a limo today instead of a car (the more frequent option) meaning they had room and a privacy partition because he was definitely going to come. Hard. He kept his hands steady on his knees as Kay looked up at him, slowly moving his hand over Shiro’s erection, more exploration than anything else. Shiro knew he was flushing and had to suppress the urge to pull Kay up for a kiss. That beautiful mouth, slightly parted, a hint of pink tongue peaking out to swipe a quick lick and moisten his lips… Shiro had to close his eyes and breath deep to steady himself. And then Kay licked him.

 

“Fuck,” he groaned under his breath and gripped his knees hard as Kay licked from base to tip, flicking his tongue along the head and lapping at the bead of precum he coaxed out. Shiro heard a satisfied hum and opened his eyes just as Kay took him in his mouth. Kay looked up at him and smiled around his cock. Shiro trembled. This kid was going to completely wreck him.

 

(And Shiro was just fine with that.)

 

Kay moved one of Shiro’s hands to the back of his head, encouraging him to grip his hair and control him. Kay eagerly flicked his tongue along Shiro’s length as Shiro guided his head down and moved his hips in shallow thrusts. Soon Kay was lost in it, messily licking and moaning around him and Shiro was staring down in open-eyed wonder at the bliss on Kay’s face, like he was _worshipping_ Shiro’s cock, like taking Shiro in his mouth was the best goddamn thing that had ever happened to him.

 

However, Kay soon became frustrated. He kept trying to take Shiro in deeper but Shiro fought him on it, keeping his thrusts shallow and gripping his hair to pull him back. Shiro had nothing against deep-throating, but he was large and he would bet money that this was Kay’s first time giving a blow job (though he was at a complete loss as to why he thought that). Any time Kay got him near the back of his throat, he gagged, but he kept trying anyway and looked like he was getting pissed at Shiro. Finally, he pulled back and released him with a pop.

 

“You can come in my mouth,” he said in exasperation. This was definitely not was Shiro was trying to avoid, but he was happy to know that. Also, he was happy that’s not what Kay thought was going on.

 

“I thought I was helping,” Shiro said careful to sound merely confused. He was damn sure Kay did _not_ want any pointers on what to do—especially not anything he viewed as “sympathy” for a lack of experience or skill. “We’re in a moving vehicle. I didn’t think you’d want to take me too deep in case of a bump. Don’t fancy you vomiting on me and didn’t think you’d fancy it, either.” _Actually I think you’re going to gag yourself because you’re trying too hard and I promise you don’t need to_. “Also, I’m really close. I never need to go deep for a blow job,” he added. This was true. _Very_ true. Twenty more seconds from that perfect mouth and he was a goner. Maybe ten.

 

Kay nodded, satisfied with that answer (and thankfully not insulted), and took Shiro back in his mouth. Almost immediately, they found a rhythm that had Shiro gasping. He desperately grabbed the base of his cock in a vice grip to try to last longer because _fuck_ it felt good and this was probably the only blow job he was going to get from his insanely attractive boss (who he might have a tiny crush on) and hell it might be the last blow job of his life so yes, yes he was going to enjoy it as much as possible. Even so it wasn’t long before he was moaning as he released in Kay’s mouth, shuddering as he felt Kay’s happy hum rumbling over his cock while a quick tongue licked him clean. And _god_ the look on Kay’s face while he swallowed the last of his cum—wickedly pleased and not a little proud. Just ridiculous.

 

Kay gave the side of his cock a few sucking kisses before tucking him away and fixing Shiro’s pants. He then slid back into his seat and rebuckled, leaned against the window, and smiled to himself.

 

Once Shiro had pulled his mind back together, he stretched a bit and buckled himself in again. “Employee benefits are pretty good these days,” he said. “You ever need anything from me, Boss, you know where to find me.”

 

Kay snickered but didn’t request anything in return, which was what Shiro expected.

 

Shiro was pretty sure he understood what had just happened. Kay had wanted to establish his dominance over Shiro and Shiro’s body. It was a matter of possession. Kay also wanted to reassure himself—that he was sexually desirable. Shiro was not under the delusion that this was a bizarre confession of feelings or anything meaningful or defining in their relationship: Kay wanted to own him, because Kay didn’t own anything else.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

That night was another “entertainment” night, and so as usual Kay was sitting in a VIP lounge of some stupidly exclusive club while he glowered at his guests. He wasn’t drinking, though, which pleased Shiro. The guests, of course, were by now well on their merry way to deep inebriation, and one such guests sauntered up to Kay’s couch and sank down on it.

 

“You Galra sure give a helluva nice party,” he smiled. He placed a hand on Kay’s thigh and rubbed it slowly. “We all appreciate it.”

 

“Good to hear,” Kay said, sipping from a glass of water and ignoring the hand.

 

Shiro pushed down a spark of fury as the hand moved higher and further in the curve of Kay’s thigh.

 

“I’d appreciate a little more hospitality. I’ve heard a rumor that your mother was very _accommodating_ with…guests,” he said, squeezing Kay’s thigh meaningfully, “and you’re every bit as pretty as she was. I hear you’ve been told to follow her example.” His lips coiled in a predatory smile.

 

“Sucks to be you then,” Kay said. “You’ve got shite hearing.” He continued to ignore the guest’s hand, but Shiro could see the fury in Kay’s clenched jaw.

 

The guest just laughed. “Don’t be coy. It’s not becoming in a whore.”

 

Shiro yawned and stretched. “Look bud, if you’re trying to catch a whore, you’ve got to remember that whores get paid.” He glanced over the guest, looking unimpressed. “I don’t think you’ve got enough to buy, so why don’t you find something in your price range? Boss ain’t selling, anyway.”

 

“Oh, so your little lapdog can bark? Does he know any other tricks?” the guest practically giggled, talking to Kay and leaning in far too close to his ear.

 

“Do I _look_ little to you?” Shiro said flatly. It was not a threat, but it was not a joke, either.

 

Kay waved his hand to call off Shiro. “I wouldn’t want a dog that doesn’t bark,” he said and nudged the guest’s hand off his thigh. He stood up. “Excuse me,” he said and left without looking back.

 

The guest rose to follow Kay but thought better of it after Shiro stood, too, and he realized just how large Shiro actually was. He opened his mouth to say something cutting but Shiro laughed before he had a chance, which puzzled the guest and he finally left. Shiro quickly scanned the club for Kay. He was no where to be seen. Acting on instinct, Shiro checked the other lounges and found him, standing in front of a large window. Shiro approached him quietly.

 

“Don’t ever do that again,” Kay said in a low voice without turning around.

 

Shiro took a step closer behind him and folded his arms around Kay. “Okay,” he agreed softly. The smaller man stiffened for a heartbeat before relaxing back against him. They stayed that way for a long time.

 

~*~*~

 

That night, as Shiro lay in bed, he thought about the day.  The things he was piecing together turned his stomach. Kay's need to conquer and be in control, the blithe way the Galra dismissed him and spread malicious gossip, the way Kay had referred to him as a "buffer"... Kay's demotion, as he called it, was a far more sickening punishment than he'd realized.  He would be sticking a _lot_ closer to Kay at these events from now on.

Shiro updated his list of things he had learned.

 

 **8) Shiro had a soft spot a mile wide for this kid and it was growing by the day.** And that? That was a very bad thing, because if things kept going like this, he was going to have a lot more than a crush on his boss and he didn’t think Kay was strong enough to handle that.

 

Shiro might not be strong enough, either.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kay isn't healthy. :( Shiro digs that? Shiro's a bit of a martyr in canon.
> 
> This was gonna be like 10x darker than I ended up making it. Originally, I was going to have Kay order Shiro to suck him off while he's at a meeting but decided that didn't make sense for the direction I'm taking Kay--he doesn't want to _be_ touched, but he does want to touch. Also, that's way more dub-con than the way I took it, so yay? Poor Kay is pretty fucked up at this point. The scene with the guest was going to be way darker, too, and I was going to have Kay (later) agree to stuff in order to make Shiro jelly and because Kay hates himself. Again, 10x darker. 
> 
> I'm happy I kept it lighter. O_O I hope y'all are, too!
> 
> I would like to stress this isn't a healthy relationship, but it does get better. I almost always write very healthy relationships, but that just didn't fit with this story. *shrug* The mafia doesn't exactly scream health.
> 
> Anyway, feel free to hit me up on my tumblr with asks and whatnot. :)  
> decidedlysarah.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro gets a gun and overhears some unnerving gossip. Kay distracts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry!! I meant to have this out like two days ago, but I was unsatisfied with it and rewrote most of it. Glad I did, though.

 

 

“ _What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince._

 

“ _You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”_

 

_\--The Little Prince_

 

 

**Day 58**

True to his promise with himself, Shiro stuck closer to Kay at the entertainment parties. Kay picked up on this immediately and began to be very particular about where Shiro stood or sat. Kay also began to drink less. In a way, he was more nervous than before but also more trusting. And, Shiro realized, Kay wasn’t trusting him to guard his life so much as to guard _him_. Kay frequently used Shiro as a buffer to avoid his guests and Shiro became proficient at discouraging their flirting. It lead to a number of rumors about his relationship with Kay—namely that they were fucking.

 

(Which, to Shiro’s slight disappointment, they weren’t.)

 

Kay hadn’t helped the rumors when, after a guest began to get overly “friendly” with Shiro, he pointedly grabbed their wrist to move their hand and said “No one touches my things but me.” The next day one of the syndicate members had joked with Shiro and asked him how he liked fucking his boss.

 

“Oh? Do I look like a top?” he said mildly. It had earned him a laugh and ended the conversation.

 

Kay had, of course, overheard it (he was standing right damn beside Shiro at the time but of course no one fucking cared what they said in front of him). He asked Shiro that very same day if he liked to finger himself when he masturbated and Shiro nearly choked on his drink.

 

“That depends on what I’m thinking of,” he said after he finished coughing.

 

“What do you usually think of?” Kay asked.

 

A boss that doesn’t ask these kinds of questions unexpectedly?

 

“Varies a lot,” Shiro shrugged. “But yes, I finger myself sometimes. You know, when I have time and want to treat myself right,” he added with a wink. And, since turn around is fair play: “What about you?”

 

Kay actually blushed and Shiro desperately wanted to tease the hell out of him, the little punk, for being able to dish it out but not take it. “I-I think about a variety of things, too.”

 

“And?” Shiro pushed. “Do you finger yourself?”

 

“Sometimes,” he said, bright red.

 

And that ended Kay’s questions.

 

 

~*~*~

 

  
It was now almost two months into Shiro’s time as a bodyguard and Shiro had mostly identified Kay’s boundaries. A sober Kay did not want to be touched for any reason, but he would initiate and control minor physical contact as necessary. A drunk Kay needed protection and so grudgingly submitted to Shiro—and only Shiro. A sparring Kay didn’t give a fuck and would grapple or take hits without batting an eye. So, it was only touches of intimacy or kindness Kay couldn’t handle.

 

That realization hurt Shiro’s heart more than he had expected. He resolved to be more careful with himself around Kay, but then debated if it wouldn’t be a good thing to try to acclimatize Kay to touch. He finally concluded he would just follow Kay’s lead. After all, if Kay came to care for him, what good would that do? Shiro was likely to be dead within the year. Kay might not be much of a target (his boss was in the sweet spot of importance—not high enough that someone would simply assassinate him, but also not so low that no one would care if he died. He was a kidnap-for-ransom target, not a kill-on-sight target), but the world of the syndicates was getting shakier. For a guard, it was just a matter of time. Still, with someone as unstable and frankly fragile as Kay, the difference of knowing someone for five months versus three was probably significant. A prolonged life expectancy changed things. It meant if he cared about more than just Kay's _life_ , he needed to take his relationship with his boss more seriously.

 

Happily, the other syndicate members were becoming more at ease with him. It made his job significantly easier when the other guards were actually willing to _work_ with him and share security details, and at this point he was grateful for anything that made his life less complicated. He might not know what to do about his relationship with (and growing feelings for) his boss, but he sure as hell would be a powerful deterrent to anyone who threatened his safety.

 

And it seemed like the Galra agreed with him, because on Day 58 Shiro was given a gun.

 

That was...worrisome.

 

On the one hand, a sign of trust. On the other, a signal that Kay was in increasing danger. Shiro considered saying “fuck it” and bursting into the conference room during the next meeting, taking out Zarkon and which ever of his lieutenants he could before he was put down and destroying the syndicate in one glorious, suicidal swoop. He abandoned the plan almost immediately. As satisfying as the death of one of the cruelest mafia leaders might be, the resulting chaos and violence from a power grab would likely do more harm than good. There was a reason the police typically gave the mafia a wide berth. Also, it meant none of the leaders would stand trial. The stories of untold victims would never come to light, swallowed up by destruction and death as the other syndicates fought over the scraps of the collapsing criminal empire.

 

Right then. So, a gun. He went to tell Kay the good(?) news.

 

“You're officially allowed to break loose at the club. I am now capable of halting all shenanigans as needed,” Shiro said, gesturing to his shoulder holster. “I know you've been _dying_ to hit the dance floor, so please attempt to contain yourself at the news.”

 

Kay rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “Everyone's getting a gun. We're going to Port Kyo. Get packing. And bring your suits,” he added.

 

Port Kyo, huh? It was a nearby city and (relatively) neutral territory and the Galra's presence there meant either a meeting between rival syndicates or an expansion effort. No wonder they were arming everyone.

 

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Anything in particular I should be preparing for?”

 

“Boredom,” Kay said, rolling his eyes again. “Ceremonial meeting between some of the Dons—allies, don't worry. Doesn't look like I'll be playing tour guide, either, so you're probably going to be doing perimeter checks or something. No one is going to let you too near the higher ups, you know, e _specially_ not with a gun.”

 

“Boredom, hmm? I'll work on my tan,” Shiro said. He thought a moment. “No tour guide duty? Should I be congratulating you on a promotion?”

 

Kay's face harden with an emotion that swiftly left his face. “We'll see,” he said. “Now go pack.”

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

As soon as they arrived that afternoon at the hotel they would be staying at, Kay disappeared to attend family functions. Shiro carted their baggage and discovered they were placed in an admittedly excellent room but one that had a major flaw: only one bed. Sharing a room was in no way surprising given that he was a bodyguard and there was increase in security at the moment, but Kay was going to be spending extended time the Don and the Galra leaders, and that guaranteed he would be a in Mood of some kind. Considering that Kay was iffy about touch and personal space under the best of circumstances, there was no way he would be comfortable sleeping the same bed.

 

Shiro sighed and checked the couch. Not a pullout. Fine. He left to verify that 1) this was the correct room and 2) if it had been run past Kay to okay it. Yes and no were the answers. Shiro briefly debated demanding a room change, but considering how particular everyone was about security at the moment, it was not wise to make any last-minute changes to the rooms. Eventually he elected to grab extra blankets and pillows to crash on the couch. He'd slept in a lot worse places (some of them recently—looking at you, hospital bed).

 

Having completed his set tasks and having no particular interest in working on his tan, Shiro decided he might as well go with Kay's earlier suggestion and do perimeter checks. It was while he was out he overheard something interesting—guards from an allied syndicate were excited to hear that Kay would be “back at it”.

 

“Shame they put him to pasture for so long. You didn't hear this from me, but Don Zarkon went a bit far that time,” said the first guard.

 

The second guard immediately snapped at the first to keep his damn voice down—did he really think he should be talking like that when there were Galra milling about?!

 

“Well, well,” the first one amended hastily, “it's not like he was _needed_ again until now. I just remember seeing him spar with Don Gyavo's son a few years back, and he was beautiful. His form, his technique—all of it. I just meant I was going to be disappointed if he we lost a chance to see how he's improved.”

 

The second guard punched his arm in a sort of friendly comradery but still looked nervous. “They're not doing an exhibition, you idiot. If Kay sees any action, it'll be for an execution.”

 

Shiro's blood ran cold. He waited to be certain that the guards had finished all they had to say on the subject before leaving swiftly and returning to Kay's room. He could hear Kay in the shower. Good. He was safe. Shiro paced as he waited for Kay to finish. What was it exactly that Kay did for the syndicate? Should he ask? Because he while he was on the force and memorizing profiles, he'd never paid attention to how Kay had gotten his kill count—only that he had one. Was it from a forced fighting ring of some kind? The thought made him sick, even has he reassured himself that Kay was among the best fighters he'd ever seen.

 

The door to the bathroom and out walked Kay. He was beautiful, every line of him perfect and the heart of him was precious to Shiro. He was also naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist. Shiro's previous train of thought was now decidedly halted.

 

“Hi Boss,” Shiro said, fully aware he was staring.

 

“Oh good, you're here,” Kay said, dropping the towel. “Take off your clothes.”

 

The train was no longer on the tracks. It had rolled down the side of the mountain and was firmly stuck in a ditch.

 

“Everything okay, Boss?” Shiro said as his brain stuttered uselessly.

 

Kay walked to the bedside and found a bottle of lube, tossed it on the bed, and then turned back around. He frowned. “I said to take your clothes off.”

 

“Uh, okay,” Shiro sputtered. He began removing layers and dropping them haphazardly on the floor. “It's, um, very beautiful. Erm. Your tattoo.” Well played.

 

Kay's tattoo was beautiful. It was a tiger, muscles coiled and eyes piercing, that covered the length of his back. Shiro couldn't think of a more fitting imagine for Kay. Only, he reflected sadly, _his_ Kay was a tiger pacing in a cage, but he was every piece as fierce and angry.

 

(As if Kay was his.)

 

“Thanks,” Kay said, looking away. He paused before adding, “My mother designed it.”

 

Now that was confusing. According to what Shiro knew, Kay's mother died around the time Kay was 10. Hopefully no one had thought it a good idea to tattoo a child.

 

“She designed a lot of tattoos,” he added with a shrug. “This wasn't special or anything.” He glanced over at Shiro and his eyes took on a glint very reminiscent of the hungry beast on his back. He looked over Shiro with a desire that made Shiro's cock twitch—something that Kay definitely noticed. “Get on the bed,” he said, his voice husky.

 

“Wow, sweet talk a guy why don't cha,” Shiro said. He managed to walk without shaking to the bed and settled on it, his back to the headboard. “You planning to join me for full body tanning?”

 

Kay sat on the farthest end of the bed, took the bottle of lube, and tossed it to Shiro. “Just finger yourself,” he muttered.

 

Shiro would've dearly liked to ask if this was going to be just a hands-free show or if Kay was planning to do more, but instead he chuckled and opened the bottle. “If you're wanting a 'How To' video, there's this great thing called the internet that has a lot of neat porn.”

 

At that, Kay actually hesitated. Fuck. He was just teasing. He wasn't making fun of Kay or trying to decline anything. In a bid to distract Kay, he spread his legs further and angled himself better for Kay to see, hoping that would clear up any doubts Kay had as to if Shiro was interested in continuing. Kay's eyes instantly locked onto Shiro's hand as he spread lube over his hole with two fingers. Mission accomplished.

 

Shiro had never been one to put on a show for a partner—he usually more focused on their body than his own. Desperate times call for desperate measures, however, and Shiro did his damnedest to tease himself slowly into opening under Kay's intense gaze.

 

“You liking what you see, Boss?” he laughed breathlessly. He was certainly enjoying his own view. Kay was unspeakably beautiful. His slender but firm body looked stunning, perched there on the edge of the bed as Kay's fingers slowly captured his growing erection to stroke hungrily. He licked his lips and nodded vaguely at Shiro's question and fuck did that ever go straight to his cock. Shiro moaned softly and clutched the sheets with his free hand, unhappily aware that Kay had only asked him to finger himself. To be honest, watching Kay stroke himself off while watching Shiro would be more than enough to finish him (and give him wank fantasy material for the foreseeable future), but Shiro was greedy. He wanted to reach out and touch Kay, and not just for gratification of sexual desire. Even if just to caress his cheek, he wanted that connection with Kay, badly,. And perhaps, he could have it.

 

“You wanting to finish in me, or should I just get myself off?” Shiro asked, trying his damnedest to keep the need out of his voice. _God_ did he want this, but it needed to be up to Kay.

 

Kay looked surprised. He clearly hadn't considered it an option. Shiro tried to play it off as nonchalantly as possible. “Up to you, Boss. You've got a great cock and I wouldn't mind trying it, but I like you watching me, too. Can't go wrong.”

 

Kay chewed his lip, debating. Shiro swirled his fingers out and back in and Kay got on his knees. “Turn over.”

 

“Yes, Sir,” Shiro said happily. He spread his knees and let Kay position himself.

 

Kay hesitated.

 

“Everything alright back there?” No response. Shiro looked over his shoulder, worried. “Kay?” he asked softly.

 

A single finger traced down the inside of his thigh. It took a second for Shiro to realize what was happening. Kay was touching his scars.

 

“It's fine, Kay. They don't hurt,” he said quietly.

 

There was a slow exhale of breath behind him and then he felt the pressure of Kay's cock at his entrance.

 

“Fuck,” he whispered. “You feel good already.”

 

Kay pushed in.

 

If someone had asked Shiro later what he thought of Kay’s skills in bed, he would have said “I think he’s seen a lot of porn” and left it at that. Kay was all force and no finesse, thrusting hard and fast and sloppy. Shiro would like to have explained to Kay that it matters more _where_ you move than how fast you get there, but frankly he was still surprised Kay had agreed to this at all and he would not have stopped him for the world. For one thing, he knew Kay did want to do well—just like he had with the blowjob—but he simply had no idea what he was doing. Shiro would’ve bet money that Kay was either a virgin or had never been the one in control before and he desperately hoped it was the former.

 

And it’s not like it was bad. In Shiro’s experience, it was hard to have truly awful sex (which this definitely wasn't). What made this sex less than amazing was two things: physically, his partner was uncertain and was not communicating and emotionally, he was not connected to his partner the way he wanted to be. But, there was still something fantastic about having sex with Kay because he could _feel_ how good it was for him.

 

Something about the way Kay’s grip and sounds changed the longer they went told Shiro that Kay was learning all this, learning the feelings and possibilities and that the pleasure of it was building and breaking him, and damn if that wasn’t doing it for Shiro. Okay, maybe this was a kink he didn’t about himself, but self-discovery is a journey, right? A sign of maturity? Because Shiro hadn’t fancied anything involving bondage or D/s before, but the idea of being just a toy for his partner’s pleasure had an immense appeal if it was for Kay. Now the question was how responsive Shiro could be without ruining this for him. After all, Kay ordered Shiro into a position that prevented Shiro from being involved. If Kay didn’t want to be touched back or even seen, that was fine (provided Kay was able to take his pleasure from Shiro’s body because yup, this worked excellently thank you,100% fine). But, Shiro wasn’t sure how he could keep quiet when Kay was _wrecking_ him with those gasps and moans.

 

By the time Kay was panting in earnest, Shiro couldn’t hold back his moans. “You like that? You like how I fuck you?” Kay said behind him, gripping Shiro’s hips tighter.

 

“Oh god yes,” Shiro moaned, eager to give encouragement if that was what Kay wanted. He’d like to give him some instruction, too, but that would be just as much for Kay as himself. “Love it in me.” He angled his hips so Kay was better positioned and groaned loud. “Love you deep in me. Need more.” A lot more, really, but Shiro was not complaining. He was greedy as hell for _more_ of Kay.

 

The encouragement worked and gave Kay the confidence to experiment with the depth and angle and oh fuck yes he found it. Shiro shuddered and arched his back and he heard a small noise of triumph behind him as Kay began to hit in much harder, seemingly desperate to please him.

 

Shiro scrambled for a better handhold and braced himself against Kay’s hard thrusts. “ _Fuck_ that’s it, that’s incredible right there,” he practically shouted because after all the previous build up, finally having everything lined up was _perfect_. “Yes Kay, fuck, _yes_ wanna come. Let me touch myself,” he gasped.

 

“Do it. Come for me,” Kay growled breathlessly behind him. He thrust hard several times before his hips stuttered and Shiro heard him gasp.

 

Shiro wished he could see Kay. He wanted to see what Kay looked like when he was undone with pleasure. The sounds he made were beautiful and _god_ he wished he could see him, but just hearing and feeling his release was incredible and he worked himself through Kay’s orgasm and into his own, spilling in his hand, and he was mildly aware that Kay had been trying to hold himself back until Shiro came, and _that_ did something to his heart he wasn’t going to look at too closely.

 

Kay slumped against him before slowly pulling out and collapsing on the bed with a sigh that was very nearly contented. Shiro laid down next to him and tried to memorize his face. He watched as Kay’s expression slowly turned from bliss into wistfulness into sadness and it nearly broke his heart.

 

_I don't know how to help you. I wish you would let me be gentle with you. I'm almost certain you just gave me your virginity and I haven't even kissed you. You're so beautiful. Please. Even if you cannot accept me, let me be kind to you. Show me a way to help._

 

“My name isn't Kay,” he said, breaking the silence.

 

Shiro rolled onto his elbow and propped himself up. He wanted to ask, but instead he waited. Kay sighed, slowly exhaling a trembling breath.

 

“It's Keith. My dad picked the name out before I was born. My uncle made my mom put Kay on my birth certificate.”

 

Shiro couldn't help, then, reaching out to caress Kay's cheek. He wanted to hold him in a crushing grip, pull him into his arms and keep him there. Kay didn't acknowledge the touch. He closed his eyes and breathed in slow, deep breaths. Shiro could see how hard he was trying not to cry.

 

“Do you want me to call you Keith?” Shiro whispered.

 

“It's a secret.” Kay opened his eyes and turned to look at him. “But you can say it when I'm in you.” He blushed a bit and it was the most beautiful thing Shiro had ever seen, that shyness and that trust blooming on his face. He practically ached to kiss him.

 

“So that's a yes for round two?” he smiled. “But not right now, please, my ass would very politely like a little break.”

 

Kay looked both embarrassed and pleased at that. “Are you complaining about your employee benefits?” he teased.

 

“I'm contemplating filing a complaint with HR,” Shiro said solemnly.

 

Kay laughed and it sounded like music. He rolled onto his side to look at Shiro, smiling in a way that was shy but still reached his eyes and Shiro knew that taking a bullet for this man would be a privilege, not a burden, and if his life ended in the next few months, well, that wouldn’t be so bad.

 

“Hey Boss?” he asked. “I’ve got a request. I’m always an after-cuddler. That okay?” The unspoken please nearly tumbled off his lips.

 

Kay looked only slightly nervous when he nodded.

 

Shiro gently pulled Kay onto his chest, hoping the pounding of his heart wasn’t too obvious. Kay relaxed, slowly but surely, and eventually closed his eyes. His arm had been stiffly wrapped around Shiro’s side, but now it fit naturally over him and Kay’s fingers rubbed his skin lightly in a mindless pattern. Once Shiro was certain Kay was comfortable, he threaded his fingers into Kay’s hair and was almost unbearably pleased when Kay let him—and even pressed back in the touch. Belatedly, he remembered that they hadn’t cleaned up. Oh well. An extra reminder in the morning of their time together was fine by him.

 

Gradually, Kay’s breaths evened out and he fell asleep.

 

 _Someday_ , Shiro thought. _Someday I'm going to kiss you._

 

Someday.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk, guys. I'm 30 today and a bit depressed about it. Way back in the day, when I very first started writing my own stories (around age 13), I promised myself I'd have my first book done by the time I turned 30. Well, that hasn't happened. The biggest setback has been my struggle with mental illness, but that always feels like an excuse. I *know* it's legitimate, but it still doesn't feel like enough to have stopped me. Well, the good news is I'm writing again. I wasn't for a long time, and now to my extreme surprise I've been written hundreds of thousands of words in the last 5 months. It's all been fan fiction, and part doesn't think it *counts* because it's just extra stuff and it's not my own, you know? But if you told 28-turning-29 me that she'd be writing this much--of ANYTHING--she'd be shocked. It's all progress and frankly, it's been damn good practice. And hella rewarding. I've been meeting people who share my passion for these characters and it is amazing. 
> 
> Y'all are amazing. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Shiro certainly did! And on that note, holy frick it is SO much harder for me to write this kind of smut, where one partner is disconnected. Damn. If my kiddos aren't in sync it puts extra work on my shoulders. They should have some Healthy Talks sometimes, yeah?
> 
> Follow me and send me asks on my tumblr! :)  
> decidedlysarah.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shiro learns what Kay does for the Galra. Or, the chapter where shit starts to hit the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Graphic violence in this chapter!! Not tons, but um. It's there. And graphic.

 

_But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow._

_\--The Little Prince_

 

 

**Day 59**

Shiro woke up early the next morning to a numb shoulder and a small puddle of drool. He chuckled softly and carded his fingers through Kay's hair. He'd stayed.

 

Shiro knew the moment Kay woke up, not because he moved or said anything, but because he stiffened. He kept stroking Kay's hair, praying silently that he would relax again, that he was just startled and not regretting anything.

 

“S-sorry I drooled,” Kay mumbled, starting to get up.

 

Oh thank god. It was just that.

 

“An after-cuddler expects and accepts morning drool, morning breath, and morning wood,” Shiro said with a smile. “How did you sleep?”

 

“Fine,” Kay said, stretching a bit. “My shoulder’s a little sore. You?”

 

“Nah, my shoulder’s fine. My ass is a little sore, though,” Shiro said with a wink.

 

Kay blushed and looked mortified, which was both adorable and alarming. Dammit, Shiro, stop scaring him!

 

“It’s the good kind of sore,” Shiro clarified, “like how you feel after a workout.”

 

Kay turned away and nodded, but Shiro could see the tension easing out of his shoulder. Fuck, he was shit at this.

 

“What time is it?” Kay asked.

 

Shiro rolled over to look at the clock. “It’s only 6:10. What time do you want to get up?”

 

“I don’t have to be anywhere until this afternoon. I’m going to sleep more,” Kay said.

 

“Sounds good!” Shiro agreed readily. He was more than a little thrilled to spend more time in bed with Kay, even if cuddling time was over.

 

They rearranged themselves on the bed, Kay on his side, facing away from Shiro. He tried not to read too much into it. After a few minutes of quiet, Kay spoke again.

 

“Shiro?” he said. “Why don’t you hate me?”

 

“What?” Shiro said in shock. “Why would I hate you?”

 

“Because I’m keeping you prisoner and ordering you to—” Kay snapped angrily but stopped himself before he could finish. “Look, I get that you owe me your life, but why are you…why are you _happy_ here?”

 

Shiro propped himself up on one elbow. He wished Kay would face him. “If you ever order me to do something I truly don’t want to do, you’ll know it. I don’t know what you had to give up to save me, but that doesn’t mean you own me. I’m sorry. You can’t own something that submits to you willingly.”

 

“What the fuck,” Kay said so softly Shiro almost missed it. “I don’t understand you at all.”

 

Shiro laughed. “Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only one to tell me that. And for the record, I don’t really understand you, either. I can’t for the life of me figure out why you saved me, but I’m very glad you did. Have I been a worthwhile investment?”

 

“I suppose you’re a _decent_ lay,” Kay said dryly, making Shiro laugh again.

 

“Well, if you ever want to help me get in some practice, all you have to do is ask,” Shiro said with a wink. “But in all seriousness, why _did_ you save me? What made me worth a favor?”

 

Kay shrugged (as well as he could while lying on his side). “It wasn't even my favor. Don't worry about it.”

 

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked.

 

“Lotor was going to get me un-demoted. I opted to keep you instead.”

 

That confused Shiro. “So, your cousin was going to cash in a favor for you with your uncle, but you traded that for me? Why? You _hate_ hosting the parties.”

 

Kay sighed. “I ask myself that every day and I still don't know. I guess it’s because I already felt that I could trust you, and I didn’t really think Lotor would be able to change my uncle’s mind anyway.”

 

“Hmm,” Shiro said, “I think you’ve made a crucial error there, because I don’t know if you _should_ trust me. I learned your big secret last night.” Kay’s every muscle pulled taunt and Shiro could see he had actually stopped breathing. He leaned over to whisper in Kay’s ear. “You snore like a truck.”

 

“Shiro, what the _fuck_ ,” Kay laughed, rubbing at his ear. “That tickled! And I do _not_ snore; don’t bullshit me first thing in the morning.” He rolled over to glare at Shiro, but mostly he looked amused.

 

“See? Not trustworthy at all,” Shiro said, flicking Kay’s forehead.

 

“You know I can kick your ass, right?”

 

“Maybe I’m into that,” Shiro said reasonably.

 

“Shut up and go back to sleep,” Kay said, flicking Shiro’s forehead in retaliation.

 

“Yes, Sir,” Shiro said crisply with a smirk and a wink.

 

They fell asleep facing each other.

 

~*~*~

 

When he woke up again a few hours later, Shiro was disappointed to hear Kay already using the shower. He’d wanted a chance to study his tattoo (and a few less innocent areas). By the time Shiro had showered, room service had arrived, and they shared a pleasant breakfast. Once they’d finished, Kay announced he needed to go somewhere and told Shiro to bring his gun.

 

Considering the request for a weapon, Shiro was surprised when their first stop was a flower shop. Shiro accompanied Kay into the shop as their driver waited outside and watched as Kay struggled to decide between four options. Shiro suggested he get all of them and found Kay’s look of admiration and relief almost unbearably adorable.

 

When they reached their final destination, Shiro’s heart dropped. A cemetery.

 

“Would you like me to stay in the car?” Shiro asked quietly.

 

Kay shook his head. “How do you expect me to carry all these flowers? Take some responsibility,” he said, his joke falling a little flat.

 

It was a beautiful cemetery. The day was pleasant and clear with just enough of a breeze to keep it from being too warm and the sunlight rolled down off the gleaming, white marble and through the soft grass, quiet and calm. Shiro followed Kay as he hiked up the hill until he stopped near the top in front a large monument. It was for Kay’s mother.

 

Kay cleaned some dead leaves off the monument and carefully arranged his bouquets. He crouched down to make a few minute adjustments.

 

“She really loved me,” he said. “She kept me safe. She gave me my first sword. It was basically a big knife but it looked like a sword to me... and when she gave it to me, she told me ‘Keith, our world is dangerous. You must understand that no one in the syndicate is ever going to love you. If you work hard, and become valuable, they will come to respect you, but you must know that is not the same thing. If you are useful, you will stay alive. Be careful. Some will try to be kind to gain your favor. Some will try to hurt you to gain someone else's. You must learn to fight and protect yourself and trust no one from our world. They will always hate you because of your father. He was a civilian and that’s why my brother killed him.’ And then she apologized for giving birth to me.”

 

Shiro realized that Kay was trying to apologize to him, perhaps, for not being able to trust him. He crouched beside him and waited.

 

“I think that kind of fucked me up,” Kay said at last.

 

“She warned you about things that were true,” Shiro said softly. “I don’t think the warning is what fucked you up. It sounds to me like she was a good mother, or at least she tried to be.”

 

Kay leaned his head against Shiro’s shoulder. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I think she tried.”

 

It was a beautiful view from the hillside grave. Sunlight winked out across the bay and the entire town was spread out before them.

 

“Should’ve brought a picnic,” Kay grumbled.

 

“Next time?” Shiro asked.

 

Kay looked him over with an unreadable expression, like he wasn’t sure what to make of him. “Aren’t you supposed to console me and say ‘No Boss, you’re not fucked up’?”

 

“Nah, you’re hella fucked up, Boss. It’s a trial to be near you,” Shiro said solemnly, but his eyes were twinkling.

 

Kay punched him lightly on the shoulder. “You’re the absolute worst.”

 

Shiro laughed.

 

And Kay laughed with him.

 

~*~*~

 

That evening, Shiro could sense nervous energy in the other guards and in the lower level syndicate members that something big was happening. When he casually tried to enquire about it they looked at him strangely and said “You’d know more about it than I would” which confirmed that Kay was involved. Shiro was worried. Kay had been in a poor mood by midafternoon and had been downright listless when he excused Shiro so he could change. That in itself was weird—why did Shiro need to leave for that? He’d asked but Kay had waved him off, saying he was going to be in a costume and would “look stupid”. Shiro highly suspected he would like the way Kay looked no matter the costume (and he would certainly enjoy watching Kay change) but dropped the matter and gave Kay his privacy.

 

Now several hours later, Shiro was practically bursting with concern. He was certainly pacing enough that the other guards finally told him to walk it off. He did.

 

The hotel was huge. Shiro stalked down hallways, up stairs, past restaurants and lounges. Most of it was public access, but as this hotel was owned by the Galra, there were portions that were syndicate-only, and without really meaning to, Shiro found himself walking into one such area. _The_ area, to be precise. The guards simply nodded at him as he entered a nearly palatial room, complete with echoing marble columns and lush vegetation sheltering murmuring fountains. Ornate doors lined the walls and Shiro was surprised to be beckoned over to one by a guard.

 

“If you wanted to slip in the back, use this one,” he said, pointing. Shiro nodded his thanks and thought to himself that this was a bit too easy and he should have a word with the head of security about it. Later.

 

It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps his security clearance _was_ high enough for him to be here—it was simply that Kay hadn’t _wanted_ him at the meeting. He hesitated. He did not want to disobey Kay. He also desperately wanted to see him, make sure he was safe, because he gut told him something was wrong. This might even be a trap.

 

But did any of that really matter if Kay was in trouble?

 

Shiro silently opened the door and snuck inside.

 

He was at the back of a large room. It was lined with chairs on two sides, one full of Don Zarkon’s men and the other full of Don Gyavo’s. Everyone was in formal attire and everyone was of the highest rank. Everyone, that is, except for the six men in the middle of the room with what appeared to be their families behind them. Correction—four men and two bodies. And Kay? Kay was standing over one of the bodies, a blood soaked sword in one hand, as he reached down to pick up head. He held it up and one of the family members came and took it.

 

“With the blood of the traitor, the house is made pure,” Kay said, his voice clear and firm as it rang through the room. He stood tall and regal in his robes, cold and distant and beautiful as he moved to the next man.

 

“You stand accused of crimes against the Galra family and her allies. Do you accept your justice?” he said. His face might as well have been carved from stone.

 

“I gratefully accept your justice,” the man said, his voice trembling slightly.

 

“Bow the knee,” Kay commanded.

 

A child sobbed and began to beg but was immediately slapped hard by its mother and snuffled into silence.

 

Kay raised his blade and looked impassively at Don Zarkon who nodded. The blade flashed down and the head rolled free. He picked it up and again offered it to the family, saying, “With the blood of the traitor, the house is made pure.”

 

So this was it. This was how Kay had earned his kills. He was the literal executioner for the Galra. And to think—he had started this job when he was 15.

 

The guard next to Shiro leaned over. “He’s fantastic. No one has a cleaner blade,” he murmured. “You must be thrilled to finally see your boss in action.”

 

Shiro nodded faintly. “Yes, he is fantastic,” he whispered back. “Do you know what their crimes were?”

 

The guard looked surprised at Shiro’s ignorance. “Why, they tried to help some of the slaves escape,” he whispered. “Now shh. I want to watch.”

 

Kay preferred this. He preferred slaughtering men that tried to help slaves—many of whom young children sold by their parents to pay off debts!—over hosting _parties_. Kay probably had no choice in the matter of who he was ordered to execute. In fact, he probably had to execute them or face death himself. But…how could he possibly _prefer_ this? Shiro knew Kay. He did. He _knew_ he knew him. So what was this? What the hell was it he was missing?

 

Shiro watched numbly as Kay killed the rest of the men and finished offering their heads. Don Gyavo and Don Zarkon nodded in satisfaction, pleased.

 

“The house is pure,” Kay cried as he knelt before the Dons and offered the bloodied sword. Don Zarkon gestured to Gyavo who took it. Kay turned around and for one fraction of a second his eyes met Shiro’s and the stone face crumbled. It hardened again before he could react.

 

This part of the ceremony concluded, the Dons left followed by the rest of the elite, Kay included. Only the families and the bodies remained. Shiro didn’t have the stomach to stick around and see what they did next.

 

Sickened, numb, and somehow ashamed, Shiro wandered back to the guards' banquet, hoping to hear something that would bring him clarity. He kept seeing Kay's face as it crumpled, over and over again.

 

“Hey, are you not going to get that?” someone said. “Your phone keeps buzzing.”

 

13 missed calls and 7 texts, all from Kay. He pulled up the last one.

 

**Our room. Now.**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uggggggh you guys are too amazing. So many wonderful comments and birthday wishes and it filled my little heart up with joy. <3 <3 
> 
> Y'all made me realize something: I'm the person I made that promise to. No one else in the world is mad at me except for myself. And well, it's something I wanted, so it's okay to be upset. But, it's also okay to let myself off the hook. 
> 
> You guys are angels. <3 Also, Kay isn't mad at Shiro. XD But he is freaking out. Poor Kay. ;^; He suffers every time I write. 
> 
> As always, feel free to message or anon me on my tumblr! Or just leave me comments here. ^3^ I love all y'all.  
> decidedlysarah.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kay is briefly Keith and Lotor creates a lot of mischief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning--I was so excited to post this that I didn't bother proofreading. I'll give it a once over later.

 

_And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…_

_\--The Little Prince_

 

 

** Day 59 (continued) **

“There you are,” Kay snapped as Shiro opened the door to their room. “I’ve been fucking my fingers for hours.”

 

Considering it had been less than an hour since Shiro had last seen Kay, that was pretty unlikely. In fact, it had been less than 15 minutes since Shiro missed Kay’s first call. He must've been able to sneak out of his syndicate duties very early. Still, Kay had managed to work himself up to three fingers by the time Shiro arrived—though judging by his expression, he’d gone too fast and wasn’t enjoying himself.

 

Shiro closed the door and walked to the bed, toeing off his shoes. “Kay,” he said quietly. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’ll be better with a dick in me,” Kay growled. “Do you ever top?”

 

“I top,” Shiro said.

 

“Then start taking your fucking clothes off or are you too disgusted by me to get it up?” Kay asked angrily. He was full of fear and fury, spread naked on the bed and both glaring and begging as he stared at Shiro in defiance. In the most literal sense, Kay was trying desperately to create a space in himself for Shiro, risking ultimate vulnerability just to be certain he hadn’t lost him. It broke Shiro’s heart.

 

He started to unbutton his shirt. “Put a pillow under your hips,” he ordered quietly, “and give me the lube.”

 

“Finally,” Kay muttered, arranging himself as instructed. Anger in his body and fear in his eyes and still consumingly beautiful… Shiro was helplessly in love with this man and unspeakably terrified that he was about to break him.

 

“Take your fingers out,” Shiro said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

 

“Why? You’re not hard yet,” Kay protested, annoyed.

 

“Give an old man a chance,” Shiro smiled faintly. “I need more than five seconds. I’ll get hard touching you, I promise.”

 

“You better,” Kay mumbled but he slid his fingers out anyway.

 

Shiro settled between Kay’s open legs and for a moment indulged in simply looking at him, using his thumbs to spread Kay a little wider. He huffed a laugh when Kay whined impatiently and then lubed up two fingers and coaxed them in.

 

“I already did that,” Kay grumbled, but he didn’t fool Shiro for a second. He knew the difference between being open and being ready.

 

“I didn’t, and I wanted to,” he replied and gestured to his hardening cock to make his point. _Being good to you feels good to me_.

 

Kay blew a frustrated sigh and flopped flat on the bed. “Whatever,” he said, “just be quick. I’ve been waiting forever.”

 

 _You’ve been waiting 15 minutes_ , Shiro thought to himself as he massaged Kay slowly, watching the muscle twitch and respond. He palmed his cock and rubbed in time with the thrust of his fingers and was fully erect in short order. Not fast enough for Kay, though, as he was whining again and pushing back against Shiro’s hands.

 

“Just put it fucking _in_ already, Shiro. C’mon. I like it rough. Stop messing around.”

 

_You’re a virgin. How would you know how you like it? I know you’re frightened, but please trust me._

 

“Should I be flattered that you’re this greedy for me?” Shiro asked as he withdrew his fingers. He slicked his cock and lined himself up. “Big breath for me.”

 

Kay mumbled something unintelligible and Shiro began to push in. Kay winced hard and froze beneath him but when Shiro stopped his eyes sprang open and he glowered at Shiro, practically demanding him to say something.

 

_You’d be open enough if you’d relax but you’re so scared of this that it’s hurting you. If I stop now, will you only see that as rejection?_

 

Shiro pushed in the rest of the way and waited for a movement before he began to move, very slowly, in and out.

 

“Harder, Shiro,” Kay said, his voice strained and angry. “I want it rough.”

 

“No,” Shiro said quietly, still moving gentle and slow. He leaned down to press soft kisses along Kay’s neck.

 

“I said _harder_ ,” Kay growled. “Fucking hit me.”

 

“No,” Shiro said again.

 

“Shiro, please,” Kay begged. Shiro could hear a sob threatening to tear its way out.

 

“No, Keith. I won’t hurt something beautiful,” he said, his voice nearly a whisper. He crowded closer to Keith’s body and continued to rock gently into him, tucking one arm under him and kissing his ear.

 

The sob broke free then and Keith cried hard against him, clutching him like he was terrified Shiro would leave.

 

_Never. Not for the world. But I know you can’t bear to hear that. I know it would break you to try to believe me._

 

Shiro kissed Keith’s tear tracks and nuzzled back into the crook of his shoulder.

 

“Relax, love. Relax for me. I’ll make you feel good,” Shiro murmured. “Help me make this good for you.”

 

Keith gulped down several shuddering breaths and held Shiro a little tighter. “Don’t pull out. Please,” he whispered, “I can take this.”

 

“I know you can,” Shiro whispered back, kissing along his neck and shoulder. “You’ve already taken all of me and it feels so good for me, baby. I want to show you how good.” He nipped Keith’s ear. “You always make me feel good.”

 

Keith laughed breathlessly. “Stop lying. You and I both know I don’t fucking know what I’m doing. You don’t need to flatter me when you’re already in me.”

 

“Maybe you’re just a natural,” Shiro suggested.

 

“The only thing I’m a natural with is my sword.”

 

“Oh is that what you named your penis?”

 

Keith laughed a little. “You are ridiculous.”

 

“Feeling more relaxed?” Shiro asked. When Keith nodded Shiro began to move a little faster and this time when Keith whimpered it was for a much nicer reason.

 

“Nnh, fuck,” he gasped softly. “Fuck that’s better.” He threw his head back and arched his spine, attempting to press back onto Shiro’s thrusts. Shiro kissed the white expanse of his throat.

 

“That’s it, so good for me,” he murmured against Keith’s skin. “Spread your legs for me. Want you to feel me deeper.”

 

“Oh god,” Keith groaned. He spread as wide as he could and squeezed his eyes tight. “Fuck _fuck_ it’s good, Shiro.”

 

“Mmm, you’re doing so well for me, baby,” Shiro panted. “I can feel it, you’re letting me in deep and it feels so good taking me just like I want. Oh god I can feel you so hard against me and it’s driving me crazy it’s good. I want it I want you just like this.”

 

Keith was crying again but this time from pleasure. “Say my name,” he moaned.

 

“Keith, Keith, it’s so good. Can I come in you?” Shiro gasped. He propped up a little higher on one elbow so he could slip his hand between their bodies and capture Keith’s cock, rubbing his head and letting him fuck up into his fist.

 

“Yes yes god yes Shiro please,” Keith cried. He was coming in seconds with Shiro right behind him.

 

They trembled together as they came down from their highs and Shiro gave Keith one last squeezing hug before pulling out slowly and collapsing beside him. He was vaguely aware that his back was stinging and realized that Keith had scratched him at some point that and was hot as hell. He turned to look at Kay.

 

“You alright?” he asked.

 

“Yup,” Kay said, and rolled over.

 

_Oh no, please no. Don’t shut me out already._

 

Shiro placed a hand gently on Kay’s shoulder. “I’m not upset with you and I’m not judging. I’m trying to understand,” he said quietly.

 

“They’re going to die anyway, Shiro,” Kay sighed wearily. “At least when I kill them people respect me for it.”

 

“And if you don’t kill them, what happens to you?” Shiro asked.

 

“I don’t plan on finding out,” Kay said, his voice small but firm.

 

Shiro said nothing but continued to rub Kay’s shoulder lightly.

 

“So, are you going to arrest me?” he asked bitterly. “I did just kill six people in front of you, Mr. Cop.”

 

“Mr. Former Cop,” Shiro corrected, “and I’m fresh out of handcuffs.” When Kay said nothing Shiro cautiously wrapped his arm around him. Kay ignored it. Shiro bit his lip hard but left his arm there.

 

“Why did you get demoted?” he asked.

 

“Because I hesitated,” Kay said. “Once. I hesitated _one fucking time_ , for like one second. I’d been killing people for him since I was 15 and all I did was hesitate and he acts like I cussed him out in front of every syndicate in the whole fucking country.”

 

“What made you hesitate?” Shiro scooted in a little closer and rubbed his hand over Kay’s.

 

“His kid. I’d never killed someone in front of their family before. But his 12 year old son was there so I hesitated and…my uncle pulled me aside later and asked what the hell was I doing and I told him I thought it was a little hard for a kid to see their father die and he fucking beat me senseless because he thought I was, I dunno, making a jab at him because he had my dad killed. And you know what’s really fucked up? I know he had those families there on purpose today. He probably even made sure the _kids_ were there. And I am so fucking twisted that I was proud, Shiro. I was fucking _proud_ of myself that I didn’t hesitate,” Kay laughed bitterly. Shiro couldn’t see the tears, but he could hear them.

 

Shiro cuddled up flush against Kay’s back and threaded his fingers through Kay’s. Kay squeezed his hand hard.

 

“That’s right. You’re an after-cuddler,” he chuckled quietly.

 

“Yup. You knew the risk,” Shiro said with a small smile.

 

Kay pulled Shiro’s arm tighter against himself. “Like this okay?” he asked.

 

“Like this is perfect, Mr. Drool,” Shiro said. He pressed a single kiss to the back of Kay’s neck.

 

“So much for expected and accepted,” Kay snorted. He sighed deeply. “Thank you, Shiro.” It was so quiet Shiro might have imagined it.

 

He nuzzled Kay’s hair. “Go to sleep,” he said softly.

 

Kay’s breaths evened out after a few minutes. Shiro lay awake a long time, trying not to cry.

 

 

** Day 60 **

It was just after 2:00 AM that Kay’s phone began to buzz, loudly. Kay grumbled when Shiro turned on the bedside lamp and found the phone for him. He blinked and yawned as he unlocked it and pulled up the message. Four seconds later he bolted out of bed, cursing.

 

“Shiro, get dressed. We’re leaving. _Now_ ,” Kay said as he scrambled into his clothes.

 

“With or without luggage?” Shiro said, obeying quickly.

 

“Without but bring your gun,” Kay said as he searched for his shoes under the bed.

 

In less than a minute they were out the door.

 

“Who are we avoiding and where are we going?” Shiro asked, scanning the hall and listening carefully for movement.

 

“Avoiding everyone and heading to the garage,” Kay said. “Act casual for now. It might be no one else knows yet.”

 

“Knows what?” Shiro said, trying to look very casual as he led them to the nearest stairwell.

 

“Zarkon’s dead.”

 

“Fuck,” Shiro said quietly, mindful of the echoes in the stairwell. “What does that mean for you?”

 

“It means that Lotor literally pulled the trigger too soon,” Kay said, grinding his teeth. “Fucking idiot. My guess is he got Gyavo on his side and didn’t want to wait.”

 

“Fuck, I knew it. I _knew_ something was going on tonight but I was an idiot and got distracted,” Shiro hissed at himself.

 

“No, I should have warned you that Lotor was planning something. I just assumed he wouldn’t be such a fucking twat and start things in _Port fucking Kyo_ where we’re _five goddamn hours_ away from base. And anyway, don’t refer to fucking me as a distraction.”

 

“It was _very_ distracting but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it,” Shiro said. “Now shush. I want to listen at this door.”

 

Shiro hated this door. He’d made note of it during his perimeter checks and it was perfectly situated for an ambush. It was the only exit from the ground floor of the stairwell and the door opened into a long hall, which offered no cover. And the cherry on top? The door squeaked loudly on both open and close.

 

Shiro listened, motioned for Kay to stand back, and opened the door saying, “All clear move, move quick.” Two heads appeared at the end of the hall and Shiro downed both. He waited half a second and then sped down the hall, waited and listened, and scanned around the corner.

 

“Come, Kay,” he called and Kay appeared next to him.

 

“That one’s ours,” he said, pointing to one of the Galra-owned cars. “Unless someone has changed the code, I can get us in. Let’s go.”

 

“Shiro,” Kay said quietly. “You’re bleeding.  One of them got a shot off."

 

Shiro glanced down. “Well, thank fuck for adrenaline. And in my right arm, too.  Fuck it. I’ll check it out in the car. Looks like you’ll be driving.”

 

Eyes wide, Kay nodded. Seconds later they were both in the car, Kay scanning for threats while Shiro found the spare key.

 

“Thank god I had one added,” he mumbled. “Here,” he handed it to Kay. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

Five minutes later they were on the highway, headed home.

 

“My arm isn’t bad,” Shiro announced. He grabbed a first-aid kit out of the glove box and began to wrap it up. “Probably not wise to actually use a hospital, but if we drop the care off in the parking lot of one it might throw people off the scent. We’ll leave our cellphones in the car since I assume they’ll be tracked. Next step is to take a taxi somewhere without cameras and get out. From there we can see if Matt sold my bike.”

 

“Or I could just drop you off at Matt’s place,” Kay said, eyes fixed on the road.

 

“Did you have a better plan…? Kay, are you not coming with me? Am I not coming with you?” Shiro asked frantically, his heart racing.

 

“Of course not,” Kay said calmly. “You paid your debt, Shiro, and Zarkon’s dead. I don’t need you anymore. We’re through.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How mean am I though? 
> 
> This will have a happy ending I sweaaaaar.
> 
> EDIT: Forgot I was going to add that Shiro's line "I won't hurt something beautiful" is semi-inspired by Fight Club (Jack's line: I felt like destroying something beautiful"). Really no tie whatsoever to that scene, but omg that line is pure poetry. Do you ever get mad that you didn't write something first? I wish I owned that line. ;^;


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shiro and Kay put off a decision and the Mafia AU somehow develops some domestic fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter completely took over. I was going to go an entirely different route and stuff was just like, Nah. Doing it this way. 
> 
> So, fluff for y'all. In my mafia story. Because reasons???

_So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—_

_“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”_

_“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…”_

_“Yes, that is so,” said the fox._

_“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince._

_“Yes, that is so,” said the fox._

_“Then it has done you no good at all!”_

_“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.”_

_\-- The Little Prince_

 

 

** Day 60 (continued) **

Shiro had heard the term “deafening silence” before and always thought it was poetic license and, frankly, bullshit.

 

The silence Kay just created was absolutely deafening.

 

Okay, calm down. He just woke up, had his life threatened, and seen his ~~bodyguard~~ ~~boyfriend~~ ~~friend~~ person get shot. It’s the dead of night and he’s had an emotional couple of ~~years~~ days. He’s not thinking straight. Talk him through it.

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to split up just yet,” Shiro said slowly. “Those were Galra men that shot at us and they were positioned at the exit from the stairwell closest to your room. I don’t think that was a coincidence. If this is just some way to keep me safe or some shit, don’t. Just don’t. We can do better than this. We can think of something.”

 

“Shiro? Please stop talking,” Kay said tightly. “I can’t cry and drive at the same time.”

 

Shiro sighed with relief. There was a chance.

 

“Okay, then pull over. We need gas soon anyway. Just find a station and we’ll talk. Should find an ATM for cash, too.”

.

Fifteen minutes later they sat, parked outside a gas station, the car tended to, and they drank painfully sugary energy drinks in silence.

 

“You’re going to need stitches,” Kay said finally.

 

“Probably,” Shiro agreed, “but it’s not bad. I grabbed Tylenol and Aleve. Pick your poison,” he said, offering the bottles, “or you can go for both. I assume your ass is hurting some. Sorry for making you drive.” Aftercare, 10/10. Well done, Shiro.

 

“Ah, thanks,” Kay said, blushing as he took the bottles. “It’s not bad, but um, thanks.”

 

_If I had my way, I’d be carrying you into a giant tub for a nice, hot soak. I’d massage your back and shoulders and if you wanted, maybe I’d slide my hand down your chest to massage somewhere else, too. God, you only barely let me touch you there, did you know? Just at the end, just to finish you. I want to explore all parts of you and teach you what I can do for you. I don’t want to leave one inch of you unkissed._

 

“37,” Shiro said, braving the silence. “Do you know what the number 37 means to me?”

 

Kay shook his head, confused and wary. He probably didn't like riddles.

 

“It's the number of times I could have escaped and had at least an hour before anyone realized I was gone,” Shiro said evenly. He watched the surprise and then suspicion spread over Kay's face, like Shiro had just told him that he _expected_ something for his loyalty, like Kay must now reward him. No. Not even close.

 

“Kay,” Shiro said softly. “I didn’t leave at 37 and I don’t want to leave at 38. You’re not safe yet. If I didn't leave you then, why would I leave you now?”

 

“Because I told you to,” Kay said in a tiny voice, cracked at the corners with pain and desperation. It felt like a blow to the gut.

 

“Kay, please. Listen to me. It doesn’t have to be like this. You can come with me. We can work something out with DA’s office.” Kay said nothing and Shiro pressed on. “I can’t just walk away. Look, it's just the kind of person I am. I don't back down when I think something is right or wrong or should be different. I’m an idiot with a hero complex and I don’t leave people behind I think I can save.”

 

“I don’t need you to save me,” Kay said, looking out the window and away from Shiro.

 

“I know.” _But I don’t leave people behind, even if I cannot save them._ “But I’m not done trying.”

 

Kay shook his head. “Shiro, you don’t get it. This isn’t about you or me. I can’t, okay? I can’t go with you. Even if you could somehow get me immunity or something for testifying, it wouldn’t matter because that’s not the problem. I made a promise. I promised Lotor I’d side with him for the fight over succession. You know how this all works. Even if you hate all the syndicates and whatever, you can’t just let one collapse, not without turning the city into a crime free-for-all. Someone needs to be in control, and I promised Lotor I’d back him.”

 

Right, Shiro. Shut up. It isn’t about you. Get your bleeding heart out of here.

 

“And what about the Galra at the stairwell?” Shiro asked quietly. “What’s Lotor’s plan for your safety?”

 

“Once things calm down, it will be fine. Lotor has the majority of the security members on his side anyway and fuck, I should probably stop telling you stuff,” Kay laughed bitterly.

 

“Okay,” Shiro said quietly. “I understand. But how long will it take for things to calm down?”

 

Kay hesitated and then shrugged. “A few days, probably. I’ll lie low.”

 

“Then will you please lie low with me?” Shiro asked. He could hear the desperation in his voice and he didn’t care. “Just a few days. That’s all I ask. I won’t escape. I won’t contact anyone. Just, let me stay. For now.”

 

_Please._

 

Kay closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s lie low.”

 

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Now that they didn’t plan to immediately drive five hours, the energy drinks weren’t looking like such a great idea. They were both too pumped up to sleep, so they decided against renting a motel room.

 

“We should get you to a hospital,” Kay said, frowning at Shiro’s arm. “The syndicate is going to be too busy right now to look for us just yet.”

 

“No, we should wait until a walk-in clinic is open. They can treat cuts and probably won’t question it if I tell them it’s just from an accident. A hospital emergency center might suspect a bullet wound. Also, if anyone is still looking for me, there will be alerts in place at all ERs if my name comes up.”

 

“Did the police academy teach you that level of paranoia or were you born with it?”

 

“Were you born a snarky ass punk or do I just bring it out in you?”

 

“Probably both.”

 

“And there’s your answer.”

 

They both laughed. Now that they had put off the decision on when and how they should part ways, the tension had disappeared and if anything, they were closer and more jovial than before.

 

“Okay, so there’s a fair chance that the local hospitals are going to be busy with mafia casualties, so let’s head to a different city. We don’t need to go far—just not local,” Shiro said.

 

“Alright, but fair warning,” Kay said as he turned the car back on, “I don’t have a driver’s license.”

 

Shiro laughed. “Do us a favor and don’t get pulled over, I guess. Honestly, if a cop stops us we’ll have bigger problems. My bleeding arm, the stolen Galra-owned vehicle, the _gun_. You know. A few things.”

 

“Pfft, the car is fine. It might not be under _my_ name, but it’s a family business. No biggie,” Kay said, rolling his eyes.

 

They found a suitable clinic and as it was still several hours until it would open, they found a nearby Mal-mart to buy toiletries, clothes, and a few supplies. Shiro sent Kay in with a list and directed him to buy as many prepaid credit cards as he could because he wanted this to be the last traceable stop they made.

 

“Get disposable phones, too,” Shiro said.

 

“Again with the paranoia. How do you expect Lotor to contact me if I ditch my phone?”

 

“Text him your number. I assume you have a code system of some kind in case someone else got ahold of his cell?” Shiro said, arching an eyebrow.

 

“You are such a cop. Are you sure you’re not just an undercover actor trying to learn a part for a cliché action movie?” Kay said, shaking his head.

 

“Go get my stuff and bring me back snack food. I’m _injured_ ,” Shiro demanded and stuck out his tongue.

 

“Oh my god,” Kay said as he shut the car door, but he was smiling.

 

Kay was gone for long enough that Shiro was beginning to get worried. He had just about decided to go looking for him—arm injury be damned—when he showed up, thoroughly annoyed.

 

“Fucking self-checkout machine was fucking broken. _Unexpected item in the bagging area_. Where the fuck was it expecting me to put stuff?! Never using one of those again,” he grumbled, shoving the bags of supplies in the back.

 

“Wow, I really sent you into the lion’s den there, didn’t I?” Shiro laughed. “You’ve never shopped in your life, have you? Just fancy boutiques or whatever. I bet you can’t do laundry. Or cook. Heck, that’s why you had me pump the gas, isn’t it? Rich boy problems,” he teased.

 

“Shut up,” Kay glowered and Shiro laughed again. There was something deliciously domestic in arguing about shopping and chores. Plus, teasing Kay was always fun.

 

Somehow the easy mood continued through the early morning, fast food breakfast, and visit to the clinic. By 10 o’clock they were stocked with supplies, properly bandaged, and ready to face whatever came next.

 

“Right then,” Kay said as they got back in the car. “Where to?”

 

“You know, I actually have a pretty good idea,” Shiro smiled, “and it’s not in syndicate territory—Galra or otherwise. How do you feel about roughing it a little?”

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

“This is hardly ‘roughing it’, Shiro. I’m rich not spoiled,” Kay huffed. “And this place looks nice anyway.”

 

Shiro chuckled. It was a nice little place. They’d driven several hours up the coast to reach Brightwater Bay, a small but friendly town that saw a lot of tourists in the summer and a lot of quiet in the winter. Shiro had spent a lot of time there as a child and had inherited his grandparents’ house once they passed. In many ways, it felt like home. He felt almost guilty that he hadn’t been back in several years. Despite that, the yard looked tidy. The culprit, lured by the sound of a car in the driveway, peered over the fence from next door.

 

“Is that little Takashi I spy?” cried the delighted woman. She scurried to the gate and let herself in. “Not so little anymore!”

 

“It hasn't been _that_ long since you saw me, ma’am. The yard looks great. Did you keep it up?” Shiro smiled.

 

“Don’t you dare call me, ‘ma’am’—you make me sound old,” the little woman scolded, pulling Shiro in for a hug. “I’m Aunt Peggy or no one at all.”

 

“Very well, Aunt Peggy,” Shiro grinned. He really should have visited sooner. She felt old and small in his arms. “Thanks for looking after the place for me.”

 

“I had to,” she insisted. “It would bring down the value of the neighborhood if your place went to seed. And who is this I spy?”

 

Kay, who had been standing awkwardly in the background, stepped forward.

 

“This is Kay, my um, my boyfriend,” Shiro said. “Kay, this is my grandparents’ neighbor and friend, Peggy Molson.”

 

“Aunt Peggy,” she insisted again. She ignored Kay’s offer of a handshake and hugged him and Kay looked almost alarmed but managed to pat her back politely. “Nice to meet you, Kay.”

 

“Nice to meet you, ma’a—Um, Aunt Peggy,” he stammered.

 

“Well, I’ve love to catch up with you, Takashi, but I have a book club meeting and you boys look exhausted. You stop on by later, you hear?”

 

“Will do, Aunt Peggy. Lovely to see you,” Shiro grinned and he escorted back to her yard.

 

Kay looked utterly stunned but then shook himself and helped gather their bags and enter the house.

 

“Sorry about that,” Shiro said. “She’s means well but doesn’t believe in handshakes.”

 

Kay shrugged. “It’s fine.” He paused. “So, boyfriends?”

 

Shiro blushed. “I sorta panicked on the cover story. Will that work okay?”

 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Kay repeated. He looked around the living room curiously. It was an open house, not exactly large but still roomy. The living room had a fireplace and there was a nice kitchen down the hall that opened to a tree-sheltered garden. There was a guestroom downstairs and the master room and office were upstairs. Shiro had a lot of pleasant memories of this house, and he suddenly felt shy as Kay evaluated it.

 

“This is a really nice place. I guess don’t know that much about you,” Kay said softly.

 

“Feel free to ask,” Shiro smiled. “There’s a guest room and master room. Pick whichever you prefer.”

 

Kay firmly rejected the idea of sleeping in his grandparents’ bed, even after Shiro pointed out they hadn’t died there. He also rejected Shiro sleeping there because he didn’t “want to kick Shiro out of his own place”, which meant Shiro would be sharing the room with him. Adorable. He could have just asked.

 

“Right, well I’m taking a nap,” Kay announced. “What time is it, anyway?” He started chucking off his clothes, a sight Shiro found immensely interesting.

 

“Two-ish. A nap sounds good. Mind if I join you?”

 

Kay crawled under the covers and scooted over to give Shiro room. “Have at,” he said. “But this bed is tiny.”

 

Shiro chuckled as he slid in after Kay. “It’s a queen-size; you’re just spoiled.”

 

Kay’s hand appeared above the covers briefly to flip him off and then he curled back in on his side, revealing a stretch of tattoo.

 

Shiro debated if he should ask Kay if it would be okay to cuddle him, but the soft sound of Kay’s breathing told him he was already asleep and he didn’t want to disturb him.

 

_All this time, I thought I needed to wait. Wait for you to ask, wait for you to be brave, wait for you to be okay. I’m such an idiot. I should have just asked you._

 

Shiro was exhausted, but he stayed awake a little while longer, memorizing Kay’s tiger, fierce and beautiful as the body it lived on. Shiro reflected that he’d probably never see tigers the same way again.

 

They’d always make him just a little bit happy. And just a little bit lonely.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is now going to be 9 chapters long because I decided to add another smut scene and this chapter somehow took the reigns away from me and did its own thing. Why do I even try to plan ahead?? >_< Oh well!
> 
> A change from the angst! Mostly. It's *less* angsty, at least. 
> 
> I love y'all so much. <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a decision is made, tears are shed, and a pizza delivery guy is scarred for life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have cried a little writing this...? That seems a bit pathetic, lol.

 

_“Goodbye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”_

_\-- The Little Prince_

 

** Day 60 (continued) **

It was almost dark when Shiro woke up. He blinked slowly, letting consciousness drift back to him. His mind was clearer than it had been, and that unfortunately meant it was time to be responsible and think through the next step. He frowned slightly.

 

“I’m fucking starving,” Kay announced. He was propped up on one elbow, staring impassively down at Shiro.

 

“Jesus Christ, how long have you been watching me?!” Shiro laughed, startled.

 

Kay shrugged. “20 minutes? I heard if you stare at people, they’ll sense it and wake up, but that was apparently a lie.”

 

“Or I was just too exhausted to cave to your pseudo-science,” Shiro said through a yawn.

 

Kay flicked Shiro’s forehead. “You napped in the car on the way here. You’re just sleep-greedy.”

 

Shiro sat up and stretched. “I’m an injured old man and you should be nice to me,” he said. “What do you want to eat?”

 

Kay looked very skeptical. “Is there anything in this house that isn’t expired?”

 

“Fair point. Should I order a pizza?”

 

Kay was amenable and after a short but friendly argument over toppings, Shiro placed the order and hung up.

 

“Should be here in a little over 20 minutes,” he said. “You want to use the shower?”

 

“Nngh,” Kay whined. “I’m still tired. I don’t wanna get out of bed yet.”

 

Awake for 20 minutes and still that lazy? Little brat.

 

(Cute little brat.)

 

Well, what to do with 20 minutes…? Shiro could think of a few things. He looked over at Kay. Kay was, as always, utterly beautiful as he rested, sprawled half-under the covers in the evening light, but there was something particularly charming about seeing him like this, relaxed and in Shiro’s bed. He wanted it in a photograph.

 

(He wanted it forever.)

 

Time to be brave.

 

“So,” he began, attempting to be casual and missing by a mile as his voice unexpectedly dipped into a hard swallow. He blushed and ducked his head and tried to play it off as a cough. “So, since we’ve got some time, is it okay if I give you a blowjob?” He toyed with the edge of the blanket, too embarrassed to look at Kay, because apparently when _he_ was the one asking, he lost about a decade of confidence and bravado.

 

Kay gave him a confused looked. “ _You_ want to give _me_ a blowjob…?”

 

Shit.

 

“Is that not okay?” Shiro couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.

 

“No no, it’s fine,” Kay said quickly. “It’s just that, um…” He fumbled and lost his words. “You, um, haven’t…? I start stuff and you let me, so… I thought you were just along for the ride.”

 

Shiro moved a little closer. “Kay,” he said softly, “you flinch every time I touch you, even though you initiate it. I don’t want to press for more when you’re already at your limit.”

 

“Fuck…,” Kay said, his eyes widening. “I didn’t…I didn’t know I did that. Shit, did you think I was forcing myself?”

 

“I think you didn’t know you were forcing yourself,” Shiro said gently. He placed a hand on Kay’s leg lightly to prove his point. Kay didn’t flinch, but he clearly had to make an effort.

 

Kay worried his lip and he furrowed his brow as he thought. “Not gonna lie, I’m freaking out a bit right now,” he confessed. “I was pretty sure since I fucking burst into tears when you were in me that that was the end of that. You being cool with that is kinda crazy.” He hugged his arms around himself and actually shivered. “Wow. I am so fucking messed up.”

 

“I think you’ve had good reason to be suspicious of people and you’ve been trusting that pattern.”

 

“Yeah, like I said, fucking messed up.” Kay sat up straighter and looked Shiro in the eye. “Yeah, you can give me a blowjob, and I promise I won’t stop you.”

 

“Kay, I don’t want to give you a blowjob unless you _will_ stop me, if at any point you become nervous or uncomfortable.”

 

Kay was now hiding his face in his hands. “That’s not fair to say because of _course_ I’m fucking nervous. Please stop talking and just go down on me already,” he mumbled into his hands.

 

Shiro was grinning from ear to ear. He pulled down the covers and settled between Keith’s legs, happily admiring his growing erection.

 

“Beautiful,” he murmured, kissing the inner curve of Keith’s thigh. His eyes darted up to meet Keith’s where they were peeping at him between his fingers. It was without question the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. Keith couldn’t have squeezed his heart harder if he’d plunged his hand into Shiro’s chest and physically wrapped his hand around it.

 

“ _God_ , Keith,” he whispered. “You’re so lovely. You have no idea.”

 

He leisurely kissed his way up Keith’s thigh, savoring the quickening pulse he felt beneath his lips. One last glance up to Keith’s eyes and then he finally got his mouth on Keith’s cock, hungry to take it in a way he’d never felt before. He wanted, _wanted_ to be careful and slow, unleashing every technique he’d learned to pour as much pleasure over Keith as he could, but just a few long, licks had prompted such broken whimpers from that perfect mouth that Shiro was messy and insistent almost immediately. He was sucking hard and deep, one hand fondling Keith’s balls and the other gripping tightly into his thigh as he moaned shamelessly. Keith’s hands buried themselves in the sheets and he was squirming, whimpering Shiro’s name, and Shiro pursued Keith’s release.

 

“Shiro, Shiro oh my god that’s so good, I’m so close, oh god more like that,” Keith babbled. “Nngh more, please _more_ oh god.”

 

Shiro bobbed his head down that delicious length, hot and heavy and perfect on his tongue, and swallowed it deep, opening his throat around it.

 

“God Shiro, please. I need it, I need to come,” Keith begged, writhing under his touch and grabbing Shiro’s hair, pressing up into his mouth and coming with a shout.

 

Shiro greedily swallowed down as much of the salty pulsing as he could before slowly pulling back and lapping at Keith’s slit. He closed his mouth around Keith’s cock and gently pumped it a few more times with his hand, kissing the head and licking up the last of his cum. Keith was still trembling when Shiro pulled off and wiped his mouth on the back of his head.

 

“Thank you,” Shiro smiled bashfully. “That was…wonderful. I hope for you, too. I, uh, I went more intensely than I meant to, sorry.”

 

“That was fucking lovely,” Keith gasped. “Holy shit. There’s no way what I did to you was even on the same scale.”

 

“Sometimes the person matters more than the act,” Shiro said tenderly. He meant it, too.

 

Shiro tucked his knees under himself and sat up. His heart pounded in his chest. He could see it in Keith’s eyes, could feel it in the air—the moment was inevitable. He was about to lean forward, about to kiss Keith’s cheek, then his mouth…

 

The doorbell rang.

 

The pizza. _Fuck_.  That was quicker than 20 minutes.

 

Shiro scrambled for his clothes and heard Kay laughing behind him.

 

“Don’t you need a wallet?”

 

“Paid over the phone!” Shiro called over his shoulder as he raced to the front door. The delivery man gave him a very strange look as Shiro took the pizza and Shiro had to blush. He probably had the world’s most obvious post-sex face right now, and he wasn’t even the one who came.

 

Shiro walked to the kitchen and found Kay, already clothed and sitting at the table.

 

“So, did you need your wallet?”

 

“…no?”

 

“I guess not. You did run out there, shirtless, sweaty, chest heaving, pants nicely tented…Yup. They got a tip. No money involved,” Kay grinned wickedly.

 

“Fuck,” Shiro cussed under his breath, diving back into the bedroom for his phone to see if the driver wasn’t too scarred to come back for a tip.

 

Two minutes later the doorbell rang again.

 

“It’s cool, man,” the driver said as he accepted the money. “You filming something in there or did you just get some?”

 

“Um, the uh, second one. Keep the change.”

 

“Nice,” the driver said, going for a fist bump. “Thanks for the fifty. Have a good one.”

 

Shiro fell against the door after he closed it and let a long breath. “Holy shit.”

 

Kay’s shoulders rolled with silent laughter. “That was the best thing I’ve ever seen,” he wheezed when he could finally speak again.

 

“Shut up and eat your pizza,” Shiro muttered, red-faced.

 

“With pleasure,” Kay giggled as he wiped tears from eyes. “That was amazing.”

 

After their late dinner, Shiro cleaned up the kitchen while Kay (the lazy ass) sat at the table and watched.

 

“I can pay you back for earlier, if you like,” he said, shattering Shiro’s train of thought.

 

“Ah, yeah. Okay,” Shiro stuttered, suave as fuck. “Let me finish up here.”

 

He wiped down the counters and tried to reassemble his thoughts. He’d been attempting to find a good way to confess, because dammit it was well past time. Their day had been a blissful haven from the question hovering over their heads, and even though his feelings for Kay didn’t really change anything about what they needed to decide, they were important. It was only fair that Kay know, and it was only fair that Kay know them before they went further.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Shiro turned around. “Before that, we need to talk.”

 

Kay made a sour face. “That sounds ominous,” he tried to joke.

 

“I promise it’s not that bad,” Shiro smiled faintly. “Shall we sit in the living room?”

 

“How formal,” Kay said, rising from the table. “In the absence of a proper parlor, I suppose the living room shall suffice. Not a topic for a humble kitchen.”

 

“You’re incorrigible,” Shiro said as he shook his head.

 

They sat down on the couch. Shiro rubbed his hands nervously on his pants. Were his palms sweating? Seriously?

 

“Alright, here goes,” Shiro said. “Probably should have talked about this all sooner, but I kind of expected to die before it really became an issue and I was a bit of a coward, um, so, yeah. You should know that I always stayed because I wanted to. All of it, everything we did together, was because I _wanted_ to. You never forced me. You never held me captive. I know you think that you owned me because I had a debt to pay, but that’s not how I saw it. Maybe right at the beginning, but not by the time we did anything and certainly not now.”

 

Kay sat utterly still, listening attentively and watching with round eyes.

 

“I don’t know how to go back to normal. The police will be interviewing me night and day for a week for information and I’ll have to give them something. Hell, I _want_ to give them something, but I can’t give them you. I can’t, Kay. I…I fell in love with you, and if I leave like this, we’ll have to be enemies. Do you get that? So unless you never, ever want to see me again, please don’t send me away,” Shiro’s voice cracked. “Please, Kay. In whatever capacity you want—just let me stay.”

 

Kay looked like his heart was breaking. It probably was. He slid close to Shiro, straddled his lap, and put his arms around his neck.

 

“No,” he whispered, and hid his face in Shiro’s shoulder.

 

A sob broke free from Shiro’s chest and he wrapped his arms around Kay, clutching him tightly. “Please, Keith. Please,” he begged.

 

“I didn’t wake up because I was hungry. I woke up because Lotor texted me. I have to go back tomorrow. I have to go, Shiro, and you’re not a part of that world. I should never have kept you in the first place.”

 

“But you did,” Shiro said, holding him tighter. “You did keep me.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Kay said softly. He kissed along Shiro’s neck. “I’m sorry. You need to go back to your life. You’re a good man and people need you. Things are going to be rough for a while. What Lotor wants to do…it’s a good thing, I swear it. I’m not staying for something that isn’t worthwhile.”

 

Shiro pulled back to look him in the eye. “Do you trust him?”

 

Kay smiled sadly. “I trust that he wants what he says he wants, and I trust that he’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

 

“And what does he want?”

 

“To end the slave trade. Lotor might not be a shining example of nobility, but he thinks the Galra are above that. We’re an old family, you know? He wants to keep us ‘pure’ and he says that getting involved with it was a stupid idea anyway ‘cause the police can't ignore that. Plus,” Kay said with a little laugh, “it’s not like we don’t make enough money with casinos and hotels anyway. There’s a chance he’ll even go completely legal—so, I have to stay.”

 

“And I have to leave?” Shiro asked quietly.

 

“Yes, baby, you gotta go,” Kay said with tears in his eyes. “But it’s not as bad as you think. Lotor wants to give you information for the police—locations and stuff.”

 

“Which will probably help topple his rivals?” Shiro said wryly. “How noble.”

 

Kay chuckled. “Never said he was dumb.”

 

“So,” Shiro said, rubbing his hands along Kay’s sides, “is this the end? Is this really it, forever?”

 

Kay’s hands shook hard and he fisted them into Shiro’s shirt to steady himself. “Fuck,” he whispered. He looked away. “Fuck.”

 

Shiro slid a hand against Kay’s jaw and rubbed a tear away with his thumb.

 

“Fuck, Shiro. How the hell could it be? Even j-just _thinking_ about it, I-I can’t,” he said, fresh tears rolling down his face.

 

Shiro pulled him down and Kay flowed into the kiss. Slow but hungry lips met and clung and parted, over and over. In between them Keith panted “Not forever. Couldn’t forever. I _can’t_ end it like this, Shiro. I can’t let you go” and Shiro whispered back “I love you, Keith, I love you” until their lips were swollen red and they were out of breath.

 

Keith pulled back to rest his forehead against Shiro’s. “I don’t know how long, Shiro, but not forever.”

 

“I’ll take that,” Shiro smiled through the mingling of their tears. “I’ll take not forever.”

 

 

 

** Day 61 **

It was well past noon the next day when a sleek vehicle parked just out of sight of the police station. They’d talked the entire way back from Clearwater Bay, some about the information Shiro was to give but mostly about everything and nothing. Kay asked questions about Shiro’s childhood and Shiro teased him about his choice in music. It was bittersweet.

 

After a long, painful kiss, Shiro started to get out of the car. “You know,” he said, “there is one course of legal action you might consider taking.”

 

“Getting a driver’s license?” Kay asked, managing to keep dry eyes.

 

“Getting a name change,” Shiro said softly. “I think Keith suits you, and not just when you make me scream it.”

 

Kay swallowed and blushed. “I’ll think about it. That sounds tricky to do, though. I might need to come by your office for help.”

 

“You know where to find me, Boss,” Shiro said.

 

And that was the end of Day 61.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smol epilogue to follow. It is nice, I promise. <3
> 
> ...these boys did their relationship pretty much backwards.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a nice conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure sweetness. For my mafia story. Because that's what the characters decided was going to happen, that's why.

 

_“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”_

_\-- The Little Prince_

 

 

** Day 71 **

Shiro was something of a miracle, according to the district. He’d been beaten within an inch of his life by a criminal syndicate, made bodyguard to a close relative of the Don, and after the Don was murdered, he was released because the syndicate _liked_ him. “Only you would get out early on good behavior from the Galra,” his partner, Matt, had said, and the rest of the unit agreed with him.

 

Privately, Shiro informed his boss and Matt about his relationship with Kay—the highlights, at least. They were sympathetic and supportive and also told him he was an idiot (something he agreed with) and tried to get him to take more time off, but he only lasted ten days before he _needed_ to be doing _something_ , so Day 71 saw him back at his desk. He was grounded from field work, but it still felt good to be there. Kay was right. This was where he belonged.

 

And speaking of Kay, there had been something interesting when Shiro came in that morning—his desk was a field of flowers, mostly as a “welcome back” from co-workers, but in that field sat a small, stuffed tiger with a note around its neck.

 

“Work hard, you slacker. Love, K.” he read softly with a chuckle.

 

That little punk.

 

 

** Day 241 **

The days were hard. Day 122 had been especially hard. That made it 61 days since he’d last seen Kay—as long as their entire time together. He tried not to think about it.

 

Lotor’s information had proved not only to be good, but completely vital. The human trafficking in the city all but disappeared and not a few syndicate leaders were brought in to stand trial. It was a legal nightmare and the force was constantly stretched to capacity, but it was the best kind of busy. Shiro was happy to be distracted anyway.

 

Shiro was still mostly working desk and logistics, but that was fine. It was almost a promotion. He was working directly under Allura now, and it meant a lot of teasing as by “normal” standards people would assume she was his secretary and not the other way around. It was admittedly fun to see her put people in their place if they made that mistake. Generally, they only made it once.

 

All in all, he was managing. Sure, he missed Kay like hell, but he couldn’t deny that good, important things were being accomplished. What was a little heartbreak in comparison to that?

 

(He might be feeling a little sorry for himself.)

 

(He also might be accessing classified files using government equipment on his lunchbreak so he could look at pictures of Kay. Might be.)

 

“Lunch is over, Shiro,” Allura said as she walked into the office. “I’ve got someone who needs to talk to you.”

 

Shiro hastily hid his computer screen, knowing full well she’d already seen it. “I just went on lunch five minutes ago,” he protested. “Can it not wait?”

 

“It can,” she agreed, “but I strongly recommend you stop mooning over the computer and get your ass in the hall.”

 

Shiro sat up. It couldn’t be Kay, could it? He wouldn’t come to Shiro’s _work_ , would he? Allura was giving him an amused smile and Shiro stood up, trying not to shake as he walked through the office. Matt sent him a wink and thumbs up and it was all he could do not to break out in a run.

 

And there in the hallway, looking a bit out of place and a little nervous and ridiculously cute and sexy and beautiful, was Kay. He looked at Shiro and smiled.

 

(Shiro’s heart turned to pure liquid.)

 

“Hey,” he said, “I’m a little lost. Do you know where you go to get a name change?”

 

“Kay,” Shiro breathed shakily.

 

“For now,” he agreed shyly. “Has it been forever yet?”

 

“It feels like it,” Shiro said, stepping close and smiling down tenderly.

 

“Are you, um,” Kay stammered, now completely bashful, “are you still interested in…?”

 

“Very,” Shiro softly, cautiously placing his hands on Kay’s hips.

 

Kay breathed a sigh of relief and melted into him. “Good, because I have something I need to tell you and I should have told you a lot damn sooner.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Shiro said. He wrapped his arms around Kay, cradling him to his chest like he was something infinitely precious and fragile (which perhaps he was).

 

“I love you,” Kay sighed. “I love you so much, Shiro, and I’ve missed you like crazy.”

 

“I love you, too, Keith,” Shiro murmured into his hair.

 

And that was the start of Day 1.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, Shiro was going to lose his arm protecting Kay/Keith. And there was going to be WAY more dubious consent situations or violence or SOMETHING. Instead, just feels. And then fluff??? Remind me not to write a murder mystery for these two. 
> 
> As always, you guys continue to rock my world. I cannot stress enough how much your comments mean to me. Everything. They mean *everything*. 
> 
> I realized that all my Sheith stories have been from Shiro's POV. *shrug* 
> 
> I'm planning to do my two other Plance/Pidgance prompts next, but honestly, who even knows? The inspiration of this story just reached out and put me in a headlock and went Write. Me. NOW. and I said yes boss, please don't hurt me. My next *plan* for a Sheith story is something way out of my comfort zone, but I'm excited anyway: an Omegaverse story! Never done one, but they are such an awesome excuse for angsty marathon sex, and that is just so my zone. It'll be Keith POV (if it happens because at this point I can safely say I have no control over my writing).
> 
> You guys are more than welcome to hit me up on my tumblr. Send me asks or PMs or whatever. Even prompts! But there is no guarantee on that one. They, um, super intimidate me, but they're also fun. 
> 
> ^_^
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS.

**Author's Note:**

> Wtf Saasan. You're not supposed to be writing right--you hurt your shoulder. Also, *if* you are going to write, shouldn't you be writing one of the things that's on your "desk" to complete? Smh.
> 
> I don't control the muse, guys. I have no freaking clue how long this will be because it was supposed to be a tiny drabble and then I got Ideas. Dammit. I was planning to sneak out something short for Pidge's birthday week. Maybe I still will??? Be gentle, sweet Muse.
> 
> In this case, the Muse is a two part deal--two different artists I follow on tumblr have been posting beautiful Sheith Mafia AU stuff and I am happily dead: slouph and lightningstrikes-art
> 
> For useless posts from yours truly and News & Updates about my fics, follow my tumblr:  
> decidedlysarah.tumblr.com


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